


Closer to Your World

by CastleSL



Series: Farthest to Your Promise [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Assumed Character Death, Captivity, Kerberos!Lance, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Shiro is a Student Aid, Slow Burn, all characters 18+, mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:12:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8549284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastleSL/pseuds/CastleSL
Summary: Students will be carefully selected and tested for the opportunity to fly out to Kerberos for scientific research. Only one student may be selected. Application and Testing will commence during the third trimester, June 21XX.There was more on the page, statistics and requirements and more details, but it was legit. The flyer was printed on standard Garrison announcement paper, the document signed by the Dean and board of directors. The chance to go to Kerberos. Hunk took a moment to think, then clapped his hand on Lance’s back, smiling.       “Well, I’m rooting for ya, buddy.” He said, and Lance beamed like that was all he needed in the world.





	1. Teach Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first work in the Voltron Fandom and on AO3, but I'm very excited for this particular story! It's been on my mind for a while and now I finally plucked up the courage to post it. I hope you all enjoy it!

"I want to go to Kerberos." 

It was, admittedly, one of the most random sentences Lance had ever said, which was probably why Hunk looked up as quickly as he did. Lance said a lot of things, he whined about a lot and complained and joked around like it was his mission on earth. However, it was very rare that Lance said he wanted something. From years of friendship, Hunk knew Lance was the guy who asked for forgiveness, rather than permission, and had too much pride to directly ask for anything for himself.

"Let's go out tonight! Have some fun!" rather than "I want get out of here."

"So, here's the deal," rather than "I want to speak with you."

"What? Yeah no, I'm busy, totally buried tonight," rather than "I want to be left alone."

Lance didn't say what he wanted, not directly. Not unless it was important. 

"I want to see my mom again."

"I want to come wish you good luck on the exam."

"I want to go to Kerberos."

Before Hunk could make a comment about it, namely the unlikelihood that he would be traveling in space anytime soon, Lance reached into his bag and pulled out a crumpled flyer. He probably ripped it right off of the old antique bulletin board near the commissary.

_Students will be carefully selected and tested for the opportunity to fly out to Kerberos for scientific research. Only one student may be selected. Application and Testing will commence during the third trimester, June 21XX._

There was more on the page, statistics and requirements and more details, but it was legit. The flyer was printed on standard Garrison announcement paper, the document signed by the Dean and board of directors. The chance to go to Kerberos. Hunk took a moment to think, then clapped his hand on Lance’s back, smiling.

“Well, I’m rooting for ya, buddy.” He said earnestly, and Lance beamed like that was all he needed in the world. 

\------

Takashi Shirogane was the kind of guy who stopped in the hallway when someone tripped and dropped their books, he was kind of person who gave up his free time to help others. It was just part of his nature. He loved helping people and he was good at bringing out the best in them. 

He noticed one student in the very back of the library, hunched over a number of books and crumpled papers. He looked to be on the verge of either crying or pulling out all of his hair. Shiro walked over to him before he could really think about it. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, and the boy jumped. Now that he was close, Shiro recognized him from the classes he got to sit in on and observe. “Lance,” He said, a little belated, but it was more to confirm that he got the name right. Lance nodded, but didn’t say anything, maybe Shiro had really scared him? “I’m Taka-” 

“Takashi Shirogane, youngest graduate at the Garrison- uh, yeah, I know.” Lance blurted out, but back pedalled in the middle of the sentence like he realized a mistake. 

Shiro glanced down at the table and instantly recognized the flyer he had seen around the building. “Are you trying to go to Kerberos?” It was a genuine question, since he hadn’t seen many students show any interest. Lance flinched. 

“Um, I was thinking about it. I mean- I-I definitely could.. I just,” He stumbled over his words. “Grades aren’t the best, you know? So it’s probably a no-go.” He laughed it off, but Shiro could see that Lance was disappointed. He picked up the announcement and looked it over.

Shiro remembered being offered the chance to pilot that mission, since he worked closely with Professor Holt and had been classmates with his son, Matt. However, Shiro had declined in favor of continuing his studies. It was just a sample collection mission after all, and Shiro knew he could be of more use by teaching future cadets instead. He set the paper down back onto the table and tried to catch Lance’s eye. 

“I could help you, if you’d like? If it’s grades you’re having trouble with, I can tutor you.” He offered. He was looking for an independent project anyway, and helping a student with a long term goal seemed perfect. Lance blinked up at him owlishly. 

“Really? Like, no joke? You’ll actually help me?” There was so much hope in his eyes, Shiro couldn’t have backed out and said no if he wanted to. 

“Yeah, let’s get you to Kerberos.”

\-------

The first tutoring sessions did not go well. Lance was too loud, over confident and hardly focused on the material Shiro was giving up his free time to teach. It was frustrating. Not to mention Lance would often try to weasel in his own questions about Shiro’s career instead, displaying some really obvious hero worship. 

“Lance, come on, focus. Are you not getting it?” Shiro tried to see where Lance was in his notes, but his paper was blank. 

“Of course I’ve got this!” Lance argued petulantly, then leaned back with a cocky smirk. “Anyone who has a chance of going to Kerberos knows this. They’ve got to.” He shrugged and turned his head back down. Shiro blinked.

Technically, yes, anyone who was preparing for space travel needed to understand the fundamentals of Digital Networking and biological sciences. That was a given with any space program. But the way Lance worded it sounded wrong. Shiro didn't call him out on it, instead just repeated the question. Lance nodded, but his pen didn’t move. 

Five minutes passed and Lance didn't write a single word on the paper, Shiro noticed, his suspicion just growing more and more with every second that ticked by. He vaguely wondered if Lance was just trying to waste his time on purpose, though Shiro knew Lance well enough from the lectures he sat in on that Lance, for all his chattering and harmless jokes, wasn't that malicious. Shiro turned his head a bit to get a better look at Lance’s face. 

He looked like he might pass out, just like he had in the library. 

“Lance,” the boy jumped as if Shiro had smacked his hand on the table. Instantly, the confusion and frustration fell away and confidence replaced them. It was a confidence Shiro suddenly recognized as completely fake. “It’s okay if you don’t understand this. It’s a difficult chapter.” He said calmly, and watched as Lance’s confidence wavered. 

“It’s not that difficult. Any idiot in space knows this.” Lance said, looking down. “Anyone with a chance should know this.” Shiro then wondered if Lance was just repeating what someone else had told him. 

The professors here weren’t the kindest, Shiro knew this from experience, so it wasn’t hard to imagine some of them discouraging Lance from even trying to go to Kerberos. Maybe that was why Lance was trying to pretend he wasn't confused. 

Without giving Lance any time to argue, Shiro snatched the paper from the table and crumpled it up, before walking over to the waste bin and dropping it in. 

“Wha- Wait a minute!” Lance looked panicked. He probably thought Shiro was ending their session early and breaking off the arrangement all together. Instead, Shiro brought his chair closer and sat down, pulling clean papers out of Lance’s bag.

“It’s okay to be confused.” Lance snapped his mouth shut, then opened it again like he was going to argue. Shiro didn’t let him. “That’s what I’m here for.” He smiled, soft and patient. Lance didn’t try to say anything. “But you’ve got to let me know what you’re having trouble with, so I can help and you can learn it. Besides, gotta know this to get to Kerberos, right?” Dumbly, Lance nodded, eyes wide, like he hadn’t expected Shiro to stay. Shiro pushed that thought away for now. “So, what part of this are you confused about?” Lance quickly looked back at his textbook a little ways away from them. 

“Um, all of the above?” He said and Shiro nodded, then clapped Lance on the shoulder and pulled the textbook closer. 

“Then let's start from the beginning. I know you’ve got this, you just need to familiarize yourself with the basics first.” Lance flushed and immediately fumbled to get his pen in hand before Shiro began. He was pretty sure he knew how to help Lance learn this, he just needed a different approach.

\-------

Lance skidded down the hallway near the east sector of the Garrison, nearly running down two students because he was running late for his usual session with Shiro. Although he had a perfectly good reason this time! He needed to stay back with his last Professor to talk about the upcoming tests. The mock-tests would be available and Lance wanted to know if he could get a couple extra to get in more practice. And it might have taken a little begging, but Lance now had a stack of tests under his arm and the begrudging respect of his physics Professor. So it wasn’t so bad. 

He paused just outside of the room when he heard voices through the thin metal door. Shiro’s was there and he recognized the other voice immediately. It was Keith Kogane, that asshole from his class who just loved showing him up at every turn. 

"Come on, Shiro." Keith groaned, obviously frustrated.. 

Lance immediately stiffened as his head filled with worst case scenarios. Was Keith there to tell Shiro about that one time Lance accidentally hit a kid in the face during simulation training? Or that one time when he fell on his face in the canteen and everyone laughed at him? There were, unfortunately, a lot of stories that Keith could discourage Shiro from teaching him with.  
He pressed his ear to the door, trying to hear better. If Keith was talking to Shiro, it wasn't anything good, he was sure. 

"I have a student coming in, Keith." Shiro sounded tired, like Keith had been there for a while before Lance showed up. He heard Keith sigh. 

"Well, he's not here now. So, can you help me or not?" Help? What in the world could Keith need help with unless he... unless... 

Lance stood up, and stormed into the room. 

"No. Nope. No no no no, no you don't." He said, and stomped over to where Keith and Shiro were to wedge himself between them. "Nuh-uh, he was mine first, Kogane, get your own tutor! Leave him alone!" Lance has to resist the urge to cling to Shiro's arm possessively because dammit he was Lance's tutor! Keith looked confused, and a little annoyed, while Shiro's eyes widened in surprise. "I don't care how impressive you are. I asked Shiro first, so he's mine and you can stuff it. He's too good a person to ditch me and I need him more." Lance conveniently missed Shiro's embarrassed flush. Keith just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. 

"Why would I care about Shiro tutoring you?" He deadpanned, and then smirked. "Besides, like you said, I don't need a tutor, unlike you." Lance absolutely bristled at Keith's demeaning tone. 

"Alright, listen here, Mullet-" But Keith didn't spare him another second. He just looked past Lance, much to the other boy's frustration, to talk to Shiro.

"Look, the showing is in a month. That's enough time to think on it, I'll talk to you later." Then Keith turned and walked out the door, leaving a fuming Lance and an exasperated Shiro. 

"What the hell is that guy's problem?" Lance was agitated, that was for sure, but Shiro could also sense a sort of fear in his body language. He put a hand on Lance's shoulder to get his attention. 

"Keith wasn't trying to get me to tutor him." Lance looked up at him, confused, so Shiro continued to explain. "There's a hovercycle showing coming into the next town over next month. Keith wanted to sneak out to go and wanted me to help him." He finished and Lance's eyes widened. 

"Oh.. okay. So... I was completely off the ball on that one?" Shiro chuckled and nodded. 

"Yeah, 'fraid so. But don't worry, I'm still yours." Shiro gave him a firm squeeze on the shoulder, before sitting down to look at the papers Lance had dropped onto the table. And if Lance was a little more red in the face, neither mentioned it. 

\-------

While Shiro corrected another one of Lance’s mission proposal, Lance was dicking around in his chair, leaning back on the rear legs while trying to balance a pen on his nose. Shiro had tried to get him to sit still, but to no effect. Lance wasn't the type to sit still, unless he was in test or getting yelled at. After the sixth attempt, Shiro gave up trying and let Lance do as he pleased.

"This is actually really eloquent. I'm surprised, but you still need to work on your sentence structure." He said, marking another odd-sounding sentence with his pen. Lance made a squawking noise from his seat. 

"Hey! It's hard! Be lucky there are sentences at all!" He whined, but Shiro knew that Lance took all of this more seriously than he let on and all these corrections would be dealt with as soon as the paper was given back. The chair squeaked when Lance leaned back again. 

"How many pens do you think I can fit- oh shit!" The following squeal was deafening. Lance completely wiped out, the chair finally giving in and toppling to the ground, leaving Lance to suddenly drop backwards. Both his legs and pen shot up in the air while the rest of him crashed to the floor.

And Shiro really couldn't help it. He laughed, and laughed and kept laughing because holy shit the noise Lance just made was hysterical. He had to lean forward a bit when his stomach started to cramp, tears pricking his eyes. 

Lance remained on the floor, face absolutely scarlet in embarrassment, and maybe something else because he'd never heard Shiro laugh so openly.

Lance decided in that moment that completely falling on his ass in front of his idol was kind of worth it. 

\--------

Lance was the kind of person who wasn't afraid to look, Shiro discovered. Lance had no shame watching a pretty girl pass by or staring someone down from across the room. If Lance was being scolded by a professor, he didn't look down and break eye contact, he stared right at them while he was being chewed out. Lance would stare and ogle and willingly admit to it when called out, all with a shrug or an easy smile.

Absolutely no shame at all. 

However, Shiro had never thought Lance would stare at _him._

They were back in their study room, books and data pads thrown across the table top, papers with red marks and loopy handwriting littered everywhere. It hadn't been very long since they had started, maybe half an hour, so Lance’s lack of focus was immediately noted. Shiro let out a long breath through his nose and looked up, ready to scold Lance for staring off into space or playing with his pen again, but the words died out. Lance wasn't in his own head, not off in some daydream like he sometimes found himself. No, Lance was staring at Shiro like he was the strangest thing he'd ever seen. Shiro felt his ears heat up and cleared his throat. Lance didn't stop staring.

"What?" He asked. Maybe he had something on his face? It was pretty early, so perhaps Shiro had sleep marks he hadn't noticed? Lance tilted his head like the question confused him. 

"My grandmother would hate your hair." He said simply, setting another scrutinizing look on Shiro's hair. The older man straightened instinctively, holding down the urge to run a nervous hand through the longer strands. Did it look silly? Was it really so bad that Lance needed to point it out?

True, his hair style wasn't exactly Garrison regulation, and he'd been scolded repeatedly for not getting a more 'appropriate' style now that he was older, but Shiro didn't think it was that bad. Then again, he wasn't all that caught up with the latest trends, so maybe-

He was pulled out of his own head when Lance started speaking, high pitched and raspy in what Shiro could only assume was a piss-poor imitation of his grandmother. "Dios mio! Your hair is too long! Too uneven! Did your mother not teach you better?" Lance reached forward and flicked at Shiro's bangs with his pen. "Too long," he tapped the back of Shiro's neck, "too short! Such a handsome face wasted!" Lance continued to lament in his grandmother's voice, thoroughly enjoying his own performance while Shiro tried to process the backhanded compliment. He wondered if Lance had me at to call him handsome, wondered if he meant it, but then Lance kept going on about his hair.

Shiro looked down and reached up a hand to run over his head, a bit self-conscious at the judgmental topic of conversation. Maybe it was time for a haircut. He had been growing his hair out for a while, but change could be good. He looked up when he felt a tap on his forehead. Lance was smiling at him, apparently done with his impersonation. 

"It suits you, though." he said, his eyes genuine. "I like it." There wasn't a hint of mockery in his voice and Shiro wasn't quite so sure his flush was entirely from embarrassment anymore.

\-----

In all honesty, Lance knew he was not the first in the running to go to Kerberos. In fact, if Keith wanted to, he could just say the words and all of Lance's work would be for nothing. As much as he was loathed to admit it, Keith was just that good. He was the best pilot in his Garrison class, probably the best out of all of the Garrison after Shiro. 

Luckily, Keith had absolutely no interest in going into space any time soon. After Lance had asked him maybe one too many times, Keith had stated plainly that he wasn’t going to waste his time taking notes in a cramped ship when he could stay here and do something. That had definitely shut Lance up about it. Still, the fact that Keith could change his mind at any moment made Lance work harder. 

Keith dropped by his and Shiro's study sessions from time to time, either wanting a quiet place to be or just wanting to talk to Shiro for a while. It annoyed Lance, most of the time, but Keith really wasn't that much of an asshole, so he could deal. 

It had almost been a month, and the more Shiro denied Keith any help, the more grouchy he got. It reminded Lance of when his mother wouldn't give his little brother dessert back home and he would stomp around the house for hours. He felt bad for the guy, because he knew that Keith wouldn't be able to sneak out without any help. He was too headstrong, he'd go running through the hallway and right into patrols if he went without knowing the patrols schedule and without some help. (Not that Lance was talking from experience, no sir.)

They were sitting next to each other at the table, Lance working through more problems he answered incorrectly on the practice test and Keith with his head on his crossed arms, just barely falling asleep, while Shiro was outside the room, speaking to a professor on Lance's progress. Not because they were interested, but because they were still trying to figure out why Shiro was still bothering. Lance didn't bother listening. Instead, he tapped Keith on the shoulder, making the other growl. 

“What?” Keith moaned, and Lance snorted into his hand. 

“11 and 2.” He said, and Keith snapped his head up. 

“What the fuck are you talking about.” He obviously wasn’t in a good mood, but Lance ignored that for now. 

“The patrols. You wanted to see the hovercycles this weekend, right? The patrols change their shift at 11 at night and 2 in the morning. That give you about a 30 minute window each.” And if Lance had this memorized from the few times he went clubbing with Hunk, nobody had to know. Keith blinked at him, processing the fact that Lance was actually helping him, then nodded. The door hissed as Shiro walked in, but he paused when he saw Lance and Keith speaking…. and not trying to kill each other. 

“Why do I feel like I’ve just made a mistake walking back in here.” Lance straightened up, feigning innocence, complete with puppy dog eyes and a quivering bottom lip. Keith just pretended to be confused, so Shiro shook his head with a fond smile and sat down. 

Keith made it to the showcase and back without an issue. They ahd totally been in the clear until Lance opened his bif mouth and bragged about how much Keith owed him now. Yeah, they got busted and Shiro gave them both a lecture, but never ratted them out to Iverson, mostly due to Lance’s begging and persuasion, so it was cool. 

Everything went on without incident for the next few weeks. Lance continued to come to lessons when he wasn’t in class. Hunk worried about him when he spent all night studying and missed breakfast, but he had an agreement with Shiro. "Lance wasn’t to be worked too hard" had been the consensus. That had involved a very embarrassing conversation between the three of them that Lance wanted to erase from his memory.  
Sure, Lance still goofed off during class and flirted half-heartedly with girls, bragged about how he was able to get THE Takashi Shirogane to mentor him. And Shiro still sat in on lectures and kept up his independent studies. Lance was still Lance and Shiro was still Shiro. The only difference was how their sessions started to be filled with more personal discussions than academic.

“What’s your family like?” Shiro usually didn’t start their heart to hearts, but whenever he did, it was never that intimate. Lance perked up anyway at the chance to talk about his family, and Shiro’s patient smile just set him off.

He talked about his parents. His father was the co-owner of a pawnshop while his mother was a seamstress who worked at a bridal store. His aunt wasn’t married and pretty much helped raise him and his two older siblings. They were both well out of college, his older brother David had married a Garrison technician named Maire and his older sister Amelia had gotten engaged right before Lance left for school. Then he talked about his grandparents and how they always came over for the holidays with mountains of presents and his abuela would bring enough food to feed an army. He had a younger brother and sister, Max and Rosie, who Lance got stuck taking care of most of the time when he was younger, but he loved them so much that he would take a bullet for them each. 

It was nice hearing Lance open up about his home life, Shiro realized, as Lance went on to talk about the time he broke his arm because Max had thrown Rosie’s favorite stuffed shark up in a tree and Lance had to climb up and go get it. 

“I mean- it sucked, I had to be in a cast for three months and got yelled at by my mom for hours, but Rosie got her shark back and that made it totally worth it.” Lance had obviously forgotten that he was supposed to be reviewing the blueprints for a standard ship's engine. 

And should Shiro probably have stopped Lance there? Yes, but did he? No, He didn't. He just leant forward with his elbows on the table and listened. 

"Oh! And when I said I wanted to go to the Garrison? Everyone flipped out! My mom nearly had a heart attack and Max fell out of his chair! It was hysterical." He laughed to himself, before suddenly sobering, a plaintive look coming over his face. "After some convincing, my whole family pitched in for me to come here. My dad took an extra job, Amelia and her fiancé offered me a part-time job working at their restaurant. We gave up an entire family vacation! Even little Rosie gave up her piggy bank. I felt so bad, but..." Lance looked up, like he was trying to blink back tears that hadn't shown up yet. "But they all wanted me to come to this place and do great things and now that I'm finally here... I finally know how I'm gonna do that." There was so much passion in his voice, so much raw love for his family and determination for his goal. Vaguely, Shiro thought he suddenly knew something about Lance that know one else did, something that was special. 

"Is that why you jumped at the chance to fly to Kerberos?" He asked quietly, but he expected he knew the answer already. Lance nodded- and shook his head a moment after. 

"Yeah, it' some of the major reasons- probably the biggest. I mean, Kerberos? Flying there like a professional pilot? An explorer? That's definitely something I wanna do to make my family proud- make their sacrifices worth it. At the same time...." he trailed off, then looked at Shiro directly. "I wanna do this for myself, you know? Prove to myself and everyone else that I can." Shiro nodded his head, understanding completely. He thought the conversation was over after that, but then Lance kept going. 

“And… I’m really happy you stayed with me for all this.” Lance said earnestly, eyes sparkling. “I never could have gotten this far without you.” At some point Shiro stopped breathing, but Lance didn’t seem to notice, he just kept smiling like Shiro was the greatest thing in creation.

\------

One would think that on a military grade institution, there would be much better security. Millions of dollars in funding the organization to train future space explorers and pilots, they could surely pay for some substantial locks and security measures. Everyone believed this to be true, except those who actually attended. Lance always found extreme pleasure in disproving that belief, repeatedly. 

Everyone knew about the main simulation hall used to examine students as though they were on a real mission, Lance had waited years to finally make it to the point where he could participate. However, there was also the simulation training room. It was bigger than a suburban home, with a dozen and a half smaller simulation pods lined up in rows. These were used to prepare individual students for how a simulator worked, mainly to see if they could handle the graphics and the actual visual of being in space. They really weren't that fantastic, they visually simulated flight and had all the different buttons and levers of an actual ship, but they couldn't move around as much or actually give you the feeling of being up there in space.

Lance liked sneaking in anyway.

It was embarrassingly easy, in his opinion. No patrols came around this area at night right after dinner, and the locking system was so poor that it could be picked with a hairpin, which really sucked because the lock's keypad was digital. 

It was well after dinner hour, most students in their barracks and professors having their own free time for a while, the perfect time for Lance to snag some solo flight practice. He had slipped into one of the pods further in the back, and revved it to life with a quick wire job under the central panel. The screens and stat pads lit up without an issue, labeling 'coordinates' and 'status reports' of the ship's condition. Lance sat down, got a hold on the stick, and started it up.

It was an admittedly easy simulator, at first, you had to work your way up levels, and Lance was able to fly around with ease, the screens giving him a view of the desert that surrounded the compound. All open plains and the occasional rock that he could swerve around. Within ten minutes, he was bumping up the levels.

And, okay, Lance wasn't the best flyer. He was decent, of course, and could handle a ship with relative ease, but it would be a miracle if he ever made it to Fighter Pilot class next year. From what all his professors and advisors had said, Lance was destined to be a cargo pilot working in the Garrison ship yard, if he even graduated. Hearing that day in and day out... It stung, more than Lance was willing to admit. Sure, he wasn't like Keith, who could fly backwards with his eyes closed and hand tied behind him, but he tried and he could learn quickly. He hadn't come here just to be predestined for last place.

Lance shook his head, trying to dislodge his train of thought, and focused back on the simulator. He needed the practice, especially since he was getting into the more difficult levels, more rocks and obstacles blocking his path.

Suddenly, another pod came into view on his screen, which…was weird. It was no secret that the professors liked to pull a joke on first year students, switching the program so the students were locked in the same simulation, trying to fly around each other like some kind of Battle Royale. Lance remembered immediately crashing into a fellow classmate, but that had been two year ago, when he didn't even know how to hit the brakes. He was 18 now, and had a lot more experience under his belt. He pulled up and backpedalled from the aircraft, giving it enough room to maneuver. 

"Shouldn't students like you be in bed?" A voice blared over the comlink above his head. Lance (never) shrieked and nearly leapt out of the pod, his hold on the steering suddenly failing. 

"Shiro!?" He called back, though he wasn't sure if he could be heard. A slight laugh answered him easily enough.

"Seriously, Lance, you could get in serious trouble." He was trying to sound responsible, but Lance could hear a smile. 

"And who's gonna rat me out?" He challenged, getting back into the controls. Shiro didn't answer. "Shiro.. Are you.. Are you in a pod right now?"

"Don't you get time during the day to practice in these things?" Shiro asked by way of a response, but the pod looped around Lance's own with ease, and he had his answer. 

"I spend all that time studying with you!" Lance pulled up on the stick to avoid colliding with a boulder poking out of the earth. Shiro flew carefully above him. There was along silence as they flew around each other, Shior pulling off impressive moves and Lance struggling to imitate them. 

Then the level of the simulator went from 6 to about 80, in Lance's opinion. 

"Shiro?! What the hell! I haven't gotten to this point yet in training! The Fighter Pilots haven't even gotten here!" He yelled, barely missing an ice pilar that formed suddenly. The screens showed some sort of frozen planet, one with crumbling ice walls that you had to dodge and pray not to get crushed by. Shiro laughed over the audio.

"Then you better kick it into gear, Lance! Kerberos isn't like the desert." Lance hesitated at the name. If he couldn't make it in this level of the simulator, would he be denied the chance to go up? Shiro's voice cut through again. "You're not giving up, are you?" And all hesitation melted away as Lance got a grip on the control stick, pushing the simulated ship forward. 

"Not a chance, old man." Shiro scoffed, feigning dramatic offense. 

"Old man? Oh, it is _on!_ "

Lance had never laughed and had so much fun in a simulator- hell at the Garrison, in his life.

\------

Keith and Lance were once again hanging around together before Shiro got back from a meeting with professors. It wasn’t even like Lance was gonna study with Shiro that day, but Hunk had a supplementary class now and Lance was already so used to hanging around the study room with Keith and Shiro that he came here on instinct.  
The room was quiet for a while, neither boy saying anything while Keith played with his dagger and Lance doodled on scrap paper. 

“So, do you like Shiro?” The ninja bear Lance was drawing suddenly had an ugly dark line slice it in half when he choked. 

“What? What kind of question is that?” Lance asked, his tone shaky and his cheeks pink. Keith shrugged, but he did look curious. 

“I’m just asking if you like Shiro.” He said, and Lance cleared his throat.

"I'm pretty sure everyone has a crush on Shiro, Iverson has a crush on Shiro." He tried joking, hoping to distract Keith from asking him that question again. Keith turned a little green 

"Dude! I didn't need to hear that!” He gagged a bit, but quickly composed himself. Lance tried to deviate the attention from himself. 

“What about you? Do you have a crush on him?" Lance gasped dramatically, "Are you just trying to get me out fo they way?!" Keith shrugged, then shook his head. 

"No, you idiot. When I was 13, yeah, I had a crush, but he's like a brother to me- and you're not answering the question." Lance looked down at his lap, his ears burning

"Like I said, everyone has a crush on Shiro. S'not gonna make a difference." 

"Having a crush is different to really liking him though.” Keith pointed out with a frown. “So do you?" He set Lance with a glare, but he was pretty sure it was supposed to be a look of reassurance. Lance and come to realize that Keith often meant well, but he had the emotional capacity of a mop on fire, so any display of affection or friendliness usually came across as anger. Lance didn’t answer, he just went back to his drawings, complaining about how Keith messed it up. Keith didn’t look impressed.

"You're an idiot."


	2. Send Me

To say Shiro was the kind of guy who kept to a sleep schedule would be an understatement. His internal clock was so ingrained into him he could pass out at a certain time, every night, no matter what position he was in, without fail. He wasn’t even a heavy sleeper, he was… Just a sleeper. Which made late night classes and meetings with Professors a living hell. Multiple meeting three days in a row were even more so. Shiro could keep himself up and alert for those nights, he wasn’t willing to come off as disrespectful, but certainly paid for it when all was said and done. 

It just really sucked that this particular morning, after three days of all night torment, he was supposed to be teaching Lance. Shiro yawned, trying to crack his neck with a slow push to his jaw. 

“Morning!” Lance chimed- it also sucked that Shiro was just now realizing Lance was a morning person- when he strode into the room with his bag slung over his shoulder. Shiro grumbled in his own form of a reply and let his head flop onto the table with a clunk. “Wow, you look like shit.” Lance sat down beside his teacher, peering at his face like it was some lab experiment. Shiro groaned.

“And you look twelve, so can it.” The words were out of his mouth before Shiro could stop himself, sleep completely ruining his filter. His head shot up from the table, bleary eyes wide. “I mean-” He was cut off by Lance’s chimin laughter, loud and piercing, but full.

“Oh my god, did you just sass me?” It apparently was the funniest thing in the world as Lance kept giggling. “You actually just _sassed_ me!” He didn’t seem offended, but Shiro still felt bad had let himself slip. 

“I’m sorry, I just.. Rough night.” Shiro hoped that was a good enough excuse while he rubbed his eyes. Lance stopped laughing, instead looked at him intently.

“Looks like it’s been a couple rough nights.” He gestured to the dark bags under Shiro’s eyes, his worry lines and unshaven stubble that was peppering his jaw. Shiro hand’t even noticed it when he woke up. Okay so maybe Lance was right when he said he looked like shit. “Do you have any more meetings or stuff today?” Lance asked and Shiro shook his head. 

“No, not until later this afternoon.” He was supposed to aid a Professor in teaching the older flyers how to man actual ships in the Garrison’s hangar. Although in the state he was in, he’d be less than helpful. Shiro blinked when Lance suddenly stood up again. 

“Then go take a nap. Jeez, Shiro, if you needed the morning, you could’ve said.” He sounded exasperated, but Shiro wasn’t sure what about. Lance rolled his eyes when Shiro didn’t move. “Go back to bed, we can skip one session.”

“No, Lance, you need-” Shiro was finding he got cut off by Lance a lot. 

“I need a teacher who’s actually functioning. You can’t help me if you die of sleep deprivation!” That last bit came out a bit sing-songish and Shiro realized belatedly that Lance was teasing him. He opened his mouth to protest. It didn’t matter if he was a little tired, Lance still needed to study and Shiro was his teacher. What, was he just going to cancel a class because he was sleepy in the future? He coudln’t do that. Lance shook his head. 

“No, no arguing.” Shiro stared up at him for a second, then smirked. 

“Did you just use the Mom voice on me?” He asked playfully. Lance blushed up to his ears.

“Just get some rest and we make it up tomorrow.” Lance crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look intimidating. Shiro found it undeniably sweet, so he conceded and stood up as well. He’s never admit it out loud, but it was nice having someone worry over him for a second- even if it was his student.

\------

“You ready?”

“Are you kidding? I’ve got this in the bag.” Lance stretched his arms up, cracking several bones in his spine. 

“You’re nervous.” Shiro remarked, standing behind his student. 

“What? Who’s nervous?” Lance shook his head, taking a step back from the door leading into the testing room. It was the middle of the second trimester, midterm season. Every Garrison student was taking their midway tests today to see where they would end up next year. Many aspiring flyers were waiting for their practicals, while the more scientifically inclined were praying to be accepted into their desired field. Lance’s class was divided into three main groups, those taking flight exams, physics exams, and technology exams. Then the very rare one who would be taking all the exams. Lance was one of those rare ones.

And, it was also the day that would determine who would be considered for the Kerberos Mission. Those who got exceptional grades on all of their exams would be asked to come back the day after exam results came out to take an overall test to see if that particular student could be a competent candidate. It was the first giant hurdle that could absolutely demolish Lance’s goal, or practically take him to the finish line. Hence, why Lance was four shades paler and shaking while Shiro tried to console him. 

“A-actually, I think I left something in my room… Hunk! Yeah, I forgot to wake up Hunk! I should really go get him.” He turned to sprint down the hallway, one that wa spacing the opposite direction of his and Hunk’s dorm, when Shiro wrapped an arm (literally just one arm) around Lance’s waist and bodily wheeled him back. Shiro chuckled, releasing the smaller cadet, but keeping a hand on his shoulder to ensure he didn’t make another break for it.

“No, Hunk is on his way, remember? So, you’re totally fine to go in.” He assured. Lance looked less than convinced as he stared at the door like an impending enemy. 

“What if I’m not…” He said softly, his voice a little shaky. “What if I walk in there and forget everything? What if it turns out I don’t know anything that I should and I really am meant to just be a cargo pilot…” Shiro knew that Lance had his insecurities and worries, but he’d never heard Lance openly admit them like this. It wasn’t right, not in Shiro’s mind. “Maybe I shouldn’t-” Shiro didn’t let him finish because he put his hands on Lance’s shoulders and turned him so their eyes would meet. 

“Lance, listen to me. _You can do this_. You’ve been studying and practicing for these exams for months. I’ve seen how far you’ve come, and I’m telling you that you are more than prepared. I know it.” Shiro said, and he meant every single word of it. “I believe in you, Lance. You’re going to ace these exams and you’re going to be considered for Kerberos. And whether you go up or not, you’re gonna prove everyone wrong who thought you couldn’t. Okay?” Lance opened his mouth a few times, trying to say something. Eventually, he just settled on nodding. 

“Good,” Shiro said, when he realized that during his little speech, he had leaned in. He coughed and pulled back, dropping his hands. “Right, yeah.” Lance was still staring at him, and Shiro felt his cheeks turn pink a bit. “Just-”

“Lance!” Hunk called from down the hall, jogging up to them. “Dude, come on.” He clapped Lance on the back and that seemed to bring the boy out of his daze. “We’ve got to get in there!” Lance nodded, absently, looking back at his friend. 

“Right, you go in, be right there.” Hunk nodded and waved at Shiro before turning into the testing room. Lance let out a shaky breath. “Okay…” He squared his shoulders. “I’ve got this.” He sounded like he really meant it this time. Shiro grinned. 

“Really now?” He teased, knowing that Lance was already planning to go in, so some playfulness wouldn’t hurt. Lance puffed his chest out and smirked. 

“Please,” He rolled his eyes. “I mean, my teacher kind of sucked but-” Shiro elbowed him in the ribs, making the shorter one giggle. 

“Watch it, cadet.” He chided, but it was pretty hard to hold in his own smile. “Get in there.” Lance nodded, and didn’t hesitate again before walking up to the doorway. He paused, halfway into the room, before turning back to flash a bright smile at Shiro with completely unnecessary finger guns. Shiro laughed anyway and watched his student walk away, the door sliding closed behind him. 

The exams would take about five and a half hours to complete and exam results would be posted the following day. 

Shiro felt… Oddly proud to be sending in a pupil of his own. It made him feel official, in a way. 

He was happy Lance was his student, happy to see Lance walk in there with the tools to succeed. He supposed this was what most professors looked to achieve when teaching their own students. Lance had given him that chance to experience it before Shiro had even become an actual teacher. 

_"Why did you ask me to tutor you?" He had asked, only Lance to chuckle._

_"I didn't. You offered, remember?" He said with a grin, leaning back in his chair with his ankle propped up on his knee._

_"Okay, then why didn't you have a tutor before I showed up? The announcement came out long before I saw you." Shiro asked instead. For a while, Lance didn't respond, he just kind of blanked out before coming back to himself quickly._

_"I asked around, tried to get a tutor, but… You know.” Lance shrugged. “Nobody really wanted to bother teaching their worst student for a mission that he had no chance being a part of.” Shiro cocked his head a bit, but didn’t speak, allowing Lance to continue if he wanted to. “I even asked Iverson!” Lance went on, “but you know him. He turned me down before I stepped into his office.” Lance puffed his chest out and covered his eye in another one of his poor imitations. “‘The only way you’d go up in space, McClain, was if Shirogane himself taught you.’ Were his exact words. Hehe, imagine his surprise when you actually did start teaching me!” Shiro didn’t really know how to respond to that._

_So, Shiro didn’t, he just nodded and considered himself lucky that he was Lance’s tutor._

\------

"Shiro! Dude- Shiro! Dude dude look!" Shiro didn't have a chance to register what was happening before a thick stack of papers was pressed against his nose. "Look!" Lance repeated, his grip on the papers making them wrinkle. Shiro took them wordlessly and looked.

There, at the very top of the first page, was a striking 400/400 scratched in red ink. A perfect score. Shiro blinked, and flipped through the stack of four exams to find similar scores all ranging above 390. Shiro looked up at Lance.

He was shaking, bouncing on the balls of his feet with his hands balled into fists. His body language should have made him out to be agitated, impatient, but that wasn't the case. In fact, Shiro had never seen Lance happier. It was sort of stunning, to look up at someone who was physically restraining his own happiness when he was quite literally bursting with it. It dawned on Shiro that he still hadn't spoken; Lance was waiting on him. 

"This-" Shiro coughed, then started again, lifting the papers up a bit. "This is great, Lance." He said as collected as possible, but Lance's happiness was a bit infectious. 

That was apparently all Lance needed because Shiro suddenly found himself with an armful of the cadet. Lance wrapped his arms around Shiro's neck like he might get thrown off. "Thank you." He whispered, reverently. "Thank you so much!" Lance was still shaking and Shiro was smiling broadly. After a moment, Shiro wrapped his arms around Lance's waist and hugged him back.

"Don't thank me, Lance. This was all you. I'm really proud of you." Lance just hung on tighter.

\------

That afternoon, Lance had to go into that same exam room with less than half a dozen other students. And if Lance had been nervous before? Shiro practically needed to shove Lance through the door, along with bribing him with Hunk’s cooking and the promise that Keith wasn’t allowed to see his scores. (“He couldn’t see them anyway.” “It’s a matter of principle!” “Okay, Lance.”)

The test had taken three hours to complete, one student had actually been removed in the middle of it, on the cusp of an anxiety attack.That had been within the first hour. 

When Lance left the room, his hand were shaking, his neck was in agony and he collapsed onto his bunk as soon as he got to his dorm, ignoring Hunk’s hopeful questions. 

For all the pain and muscle cramps and the crippling stress of the whole ordeal, Lance also walked out of there with the biggest grin on his face because he _nailed_ that test. He just knew it. 

And after that?

And after that he was being expelled.

He was sure of that as his wobbly legs carried him from the simulator room to Iverson’s office. 

Lance had been in the middle of a level 12 simulation, on a ‘Mission’ to recover a broken satellite piece, when one of the higher officers came in shut down the entire room’s practice. He was a tall guy with ashen blond hair, and a pretty unfortunate mole just under his left nostril, but Lance couldn't think of his name to save his life.

“McClain.” The officer barked, making Lance jolt before stumbling out of his pod. He didn’t look happy, but none of the people who worked at the Garrison ever seemed to be happy. “Iverson’s. On the double, cadet.” That was all he said before turning on a heel and walking out the door, leaving the whole room to stare at Lance. They were all thinking the same thing.

Iverson never pulled a student out of a class, even if it was an emergency. It was his golden rule that he took disturbing pride in, the “No Student Left Behind” initiative that he had molded to his personal standards. So that alone was a shock, but to call _Lance_ out of a class? Iverson didn’t spare a look in Lance’s direction unless it was to chew him out for a mistake. Everyone knew that. 

Lance had fucked up big time, it was the only explanation. 

The only problem was that Lance didn't even know what he did.

“Well, you better go, lad.” Professor Montgomery coughed, his wiry tenor voice cutting through the deafening silence that had settled over the students. Lance nodded, looking back at Hunk who had climbed out of his own simulation. 

“My presence is needed.” Lance said, putting on a cocky smile to try and convince everyone else he knew exactly what he was getting into. Hunk looked like he might pass out from worry, but he couldn’t say anything other than a withering “Good luck,” before Lance was leaving. He did his best to ignore the uproar of gossiping whispers that followed him out the door.

So, here Lance was, trembling in front of Iverson’s office door, trying to steel his nerve and walk in. He didn’t have much time at all before the door hissed open automatically and Iverson’s stormy face met his from the other side of the room. He was seated at his desk, fingers laced together in front of him while his scowl seemed even angrier than usual. Lance gulped, but walked in without a word, waiting for some kind of executioner to step up beside him. Instead of a hooded axe bearer, Shiro was standing to the side of the room, hands clasped in front of him and his face set in a stone cold frown. There was no emotion shown on his face, the only thing that showed he was feeling _something_ was the slight shake of his hands. 

To Lance, that was more terrifying than anything else.

There were two more people in the room, an older man with a high ranking officer uniform. A younger guy stood beside him. He couldn’t have been much older than Lance, although his uniform stated differently. The three gold stripes that Shiro usually wore glittered in the fluorescent lighting of the office. They looked at him like he was some kind of fascinating puzzle. Their faces gave nothing away other than that. 

“McClain.” Iverson’s sharp tone made Lance snap back to his senses. “Sit down.” Lance did as he was told, sitting in the short student chair that was strategically used to make students seem smaller and intimidated. It was definitely working; Lance felt two inches tall. 

_Please don’t send me back home_

Lance kept repeating it in his head. He was so close to going to Kerberos, so close to finding out if all his sessions with Shiro had payed off. 

Lance knew he was smart, but no one had ever believed in him as much as Shiro had. He never had the motivation or confidence to reach for something like this, not to say he didn’t strive to overexcell. Hell, if he hadn’t worked this hard to go to Kerberos, he’s be at Keith’s throat trying to beat Keith for a spot in the Fighter Pilot class. 

Lance had worked so hard to get here, to get into the Garrison, to make it past the exams and evaluation. He had spent countless nights studying and turning down offers to sneak out and party. He had gotten a tutor, even when told he didn’t have a prayer and he had actually _done his best_ in everything he tried. If he was getting in trouble for something eh never even did then what the hell was he going to do?

“You’ve actually not screwed up this year- by some sort of miracle...” Lance blinked, he hadn’t heard Iverson start speaking. There was just white noise. Iverson kept talking, but Lance wasn’t hearing him anymore.

Iverson’s mouth was moving, that scowl only getting deeper, but he wasn’t yelling or standing over Lance like he usually did when Lance was in trouble. The conversation. Was all sort of a blur, curtain words actually registered. 

“Exam…Kerberos… Failure… Documentation… Congratulations…. Mess up…”

Then Lance was standing and the older man- Sam Holt, he recognized him now from the news, was shaking his hand with a pleasant smile. 

“I look forward to working with you, young man.” Dr. Holt said while Lance just nodded dumbly, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Matt Holt came up to him next, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“Congrats, dude. Guess you’re coming with us! I hope you like dried veggies!” 

Iverson continued to frown from behind his desk, but even he grumbled out restrained praise. Lance looked at Shiro for the first time since he walked into the room and saw the older man’s expression of cool collectiveness start to crack. He wasn’t trying to hold in his anger, Shiro was trying to hold in his excitement in the presence of two elite officers. 

Lance felt like he might faint. He got picked. That was what the meeting was for. 

Lance was going to Kerberos.

He may have blacked out for the duration of the meeting, because he literally could not remember how he had come to be standing outside of Iverson’s office with a mission report, a folder full of documents he had to read through and sign, an itinerary for a new training program and need medical documentation. It was official, all the forms in his hands were real and they were Lance’s. 

He nearly jumped a foot in the air when Shiro tapped him on the head. Lance stared at him, because he didn’t think he could speak without screaming uncontrollably. Thankfully, Shiro spared him the embarrassment of even attempting. 

“Follow me.” Was all Shiro said, before turning and heading down the hallway. Lance followed obediently.

\------

How Shiro was able to commandeer one of the Professor's lounges _in the middle of the semester_ was beyond Lance, but here he was seated next to Hunk on one of the plush couches.

While Lance was in the meeting with Iverson, Shiro and the Holts, Keith had grabbed Hunk and the two had made up the lounge into a little party room. There weren’t any decorations or banners, to Lance’s disappointment, because a “Go Lance!” Banner would have been amazing, but whatever. There were, however, a bunch of snacks and drinks and his friends and no work or studying to worry about. And it was all to celebrate Lance _getting chosen to go up to Kerberos_. 

“I still can’t believe they picked you.” Hunk said, leaning back against the couch with one arm slung over the back. Several other students made up the party, some who had been friends of Lance’s since the beginning of the year and others who just wanted the chance to eat non-Garrison regulated food and just hang, which was fine with him. He had those who he wanted around him, so what was a few more?

Keith was leaning up against the wall directly behind the couch, arms crossed with a rueful smirk. “Yeah, still waiting for them to come back and say it was a typo.” He teased, making Lance glare up at him. 

“What do you know, Mullet.” He reached forward to snag a chip from one of the multiple bowls on the table in front of the couch. Shiro chuckled from his place on Hunk’s other side, sitting up on the arm rest. Some students stared at him in wonder, trying to figure out how Lance knew Shiro personally. (Those were the people who just wanted a place to hang.)

“Apparently more than you, with his test scores, but you’ve got better manners.” Matt Holt said, stepping through the doorway and promptly flopping onto the couch across from the one Lance and the other’s were occupying. He nearly crashed into one girl sitting on the edge, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Heya.” He grinned.

“Um.. Hi?” Lance had only met this guy, what, an hour ago? Hunk waved, always the teddy bear he was. Keith didn’t really acknowledge him besides a tilt of his chin. Shiro suddenly looked really tired. 

“What do you want Matt?” He asked, eyes shifting between Shiro and the new member of the group. Matt shrugged his shoulders. 

“I wanted to hang with you guys while my dad was in another meeting. That, and get to know our newest teammate!” He cooed at Lance like he was a baby, making the cadet bristle.

“Now that’s- wait,” Lance glanced over at Shiro. “Do you two know each other?” Shiro sighed, but Matt beamed at the opportunity to answer. 

“You bet! Shiro and I were classmates when we were at the Garrison way back when. He never would have graduated without me.” Shiro scoffed. 

“And you never would have made it into a lab if it hadn’t been for me. So we’re even.” Shiro said, and apparently won the kind-of argument because Matt didn’t argue. He just shrugged and looked back at the three younger students. 

“Anyway. I was the one who recommended Shiro for the Kerberos Mission. He could have piloted it if he wanted, but he wanted to stay and ‘guide the feeble minds of the youth!” Matt laughed at his own teasing, some other students joining in. Shiro scrunched up his nose.

“I don’t sound like that.” He said petulantly, and that just sent everyone else off. Lance cackled (“That is exactly how you sound!”) while Matt grinned triumphantly. Even Keith had to cover a chuckle with his hand. Eventually, Shiro gave in and had to laugh at himself, because as dramatic as Matt was, that was pretty much why. 

And just like that, Matt became part of their little group. Students filtered in and out of the lounge, either to congratulate Lance (because word traveled through the school faster than electrical currents) or just grab some food and talk to whatever friends were already there. The five of them clustered together for the majority of the time, Keith leaving once to uses the bathroom and Shiro needing to head out for a half hour to stand in on a meeting. But they both came back eventually, while other students parted for good. 

“Fair warning, Matt: Lance sings Mariah Carey in the shower.” Keith said during a lull in conversation, suddenly grabbing everybody’s attention. Matt looked like he had just been given the master controls to the world, which was a horrible look for anyone to have, but it was even more terrifying on Matt. In the few hours they had known him, all three cadets discovered that 1) He was a total flirt- even worse than Lance. And 2) He was a slut for gossip and any kind of dirt he could find about people. He mentioned in passing that his little sister was even worse, and all of them prayed never to meet her, or at least get on her bad side. 

Lance gaped, then wheeled around to scream at his best friend. “Hunk! How could you!?” His voice must have jumped up two octaves. “You swore an oath, you _traitor!_ ” Hunk rose his hands in silent surrender, but his lips were quivering while he tried to hold in his laughter. Keith spoke up from his new position on the couch next to Matt.

“Lance.. Hunk didn’t tell me that.” He said it calmly, “I made that up- and you just outed yourself.” Lance’s face fell, then turned bright red. Everyone erupted into hysterical laughter. Matt almost fell off the couch while Hunk doubled over, clutching his stomach. Even Shiro was laughing uncontrollably, though he had the decency to cover his mouth with his hand. Lance pouted, bottom lip jutting out while his arms crossed over his chest. 

“You guys suck, you know that?” Keith snorts, having been able to compose himself before the others. 

“And you sing Halo in the shower, we’re justified.” Keith pointed out. Instantaneously, the whole room went quiet. Lance stared at Keith with wide, confused eyes. 

“Halo is… By Beyoncé…” The words hung in the air, all eyes on a confused Keith. “Oh. Oh my god.” Lance looked horrified. “How- you just- how _dare_ you?” Keith shrugged.

“What’s the big deal?” He honestly didn’t know… And that was even more worrying. Shiro and Hunk glanced between them, feeling like they were going to need to restrain Lance in a minute. 

“And I thought the mullet was bad…” Lance sighed dramatically, “but this is an absolute _travesti_. How did you even know Mariah was a singer if you thought-” Lance shuddered, like it was actually something that could make him sick. “Just _how?_ ” Again, Keith shrugged. Shiro shook his head, a fond smile on his face. 

“Cut him a break, Lance.” He chuckled. Keith still didn’t know what the issue was, Lance seemed to calm down a little and let out a sigh.

“Fine, but I am holding that over you forever.”

\----- 

Lance only got caught staring at Shiro twice, and both times had thankfully been by Hunk. 

He hadn’t meant to, honestly. He had turned to look at Shiro whenever he said something, to be polite, but then Shiro would stop and Lance would simply keep looking. Shiro never noticed, thank god, and the first time it happened, he was able to play it off that he got lost in his own head. 

The second time, however, Hunk nudged him with the most knowing smirk on his face, Lance wanted to punch him. So what if he was staring? Big deal. A lot of people were staring at Shiro. That was true, but most of those who were staring had either left or simply got used to having a Garrison legend around them at a party for a fellow student. So, in reality, maybe Lance _was_ kind of the only one who kept looking at Shiro. 

Shiro was talking to Matt at the door. Apparently his father was waiting for him now that the meeting was over. He had said his goodbyes and congratulated Lance again with a broad grin, saying he looked forward to the next few months of them training together. Lance had to admit he liked the guy.

The party wound down shortly after Matt left, the other students filtering out to head back to their barracks for the night. There weren’t many leftovers, but Hunk was wrapping it up anyway to save for later. He went from bowls to plates, dropping the scraps into containers. Keith helped him out by eating whatever he could before Hunk caught up to him. 

According to Shiro, and basic observation, Keith hated to eat in front of people. It wasn’t a disorder or anything that Lance would know about, it was just a quirk of Keith’s he hadn’t noticed before. Keith only ate around people he felt comfortable with, so naturally right now he was shoving food down his throat like it was his last meal. 

Shiro was the same, Lance figured that out half way through the party. Shiro wasn’t a huge eater when he was around people, but once he got tucked away in a corner with some close friends, he was fine. He also ate chips like they were those little finger sandwiches that were always at fancy parties in movies, which Lance found both hysterical and kind of endearing. For such a big guy, Shiro was a dainty eater. 

Speaking of which, now that Keith and Hunk were busy with the food and everyone else had headed out, it was just Lance and Shiro near the doorway. Lance knew better than to mess with Hunk’s clean-up process or pull Keith away from food, and Shiro-

Shiro never really got to talk to Lance all night, despite being near him for the majority of it. So, he was making up for it now. 

“So, what was that you kept saying? ‘You didn’t have a shot’?” Shiro teased, leaning up against the door frame. Lance puffed out his cheeks in indignation. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Lance crossed his arms over his chest, then quickly dropped them. His voice got quiet when he spoke again. “I guess I have you to thank for that. This never would have happened without you teaching me.” Shiro felt his cheeks get a little pink, but he brushed it off.

“You need to stop giving me so much credit. You got picked because of your hard work and ability.” Lance let out a laugh at that, shaking his head. Shiro frowned and, without really thinking about it, put both of his hands on Lance’s shoulders. “I mean it, Lance. You deserve this chance. You’ve earned it.”

Lance held his breath, his stomach twisting into a double knot. “O-okay..” He squeaked out and goddammit Shiro’s little smile was completely unfair. Who allowed this?

Shiro’s right hand slowly trailed upwards, until it was cupping Lance’s jaw. Neither knew who leaned in first, or if they even did, but they seemed a lot closer now. Lance stared up at Shiro and the double knot in his belly only twisted tight because holy shit, holy shit holy shit _holy shi-_

Hunk dropped a bowl somewhere in the room and that seemed to snap Shiro out of whatever had come over him. His hands snapped away like he had been burned, leaving Lance to blink owlishly when he backed away. Moment over.

“Uh-” Shiro coughed into his hand. “Again, congratulations, Lance. I’m really happy for you.” Lance stared at him, his face still red.

“Y-yeah.. Thanks, Shiro.” Hunk suddenly popped up next to them, tapping Lance’s shoulder.

“Dude, we should go. It’s almost curfew and Iverson won’t be happy if he catches us still here.” He pointed out. They hadn’t realized how late it was. Lance nodded quickly. 

“Right, yeah. We’ll see you guys around.” He could hardly look Shiro in the eyes before scurrying out of the room, Hunk following close behind after giving the other’s a friendly wave goodbye. 

Shiro watched them walk away, then turned back around. Keith was staring at him, eyes wide and mouth set in a very strange combination of surprise and disgust. 

“What?” Shiro asked defensively. Keith looked between the door and his friend, then shook his head, tucking the container Hunk had given him under his arm. 

“You’re _both_ idiots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's chapter 2! I had a lot of trouble writing this, so I apologize for the choppiness of it. I'll probably come back and edit this later.
> 
> Thank you to all who left kudos and comments, it's amazing to know you guys are enjoying this story so early on, I promise it will get better after this chapter!
> 
> Well, see you all next chapter!
> 
> -Castle


	3. Promise Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time ticks by as Lance prepares for the Kerberos Mission.

**5 Months**

Lance left for pre-flight training three weeks later. He and the other crew members of the Kerberos Mission had to go through all new examinations and training simulations before they were ready for deep space travel. Not that Lance was complaining. It made him feel like one of those action stars who had their montages of training before going into battle. Only thiswasn’t going to last the amount of time on an inspirational soundtrack. Lance had to prepare himself for five months of hard drills and even more tests before he could even think of getting on a ship. Still, there were a few upsides.

Dr. Holt had been able to swing them a video call system while they were at training. On their own time, they could contact their friends and families to keep them updated and to keep the crew’s spirits up. Lance immediately jumped at the chance three days into training and video called his parents- but he spent a majority of the night teaching them how to actually work the program than talking to them. His mother had accidentally ended the call three times trying to up the volume on their computer. 

Matt and his father also had the same systems in their rooms. Matt would call his mom and little sister, and old classmates, usually in the morning. He and Sam always had new conversations to talk about at breakfast, and Lance was always happy to pitch in. 

Lance’s quarters weren’t that much different from his dorm back at the Garrison, he’d noticed. A single bed to the side of the room with a mini dresser for clothes and a desk with a built in laptop. 

And a swivel chair, which Lance had made sure to thoroughly test it out his first night. 

He also made sure to place his framed photo of his family on his desk before anything else and add all of his important contacts onto his new laptop. The first three on the list were his mother, Hunk, and Shiro.

\------  
**4 Months, 3 Weeks**

“Yello!” Matt was beaming as he strode into Lance’s quarters, tucking a small device into his jacket sleeve. He had a bad habit of walking into the younger cadet’s room without permission- not like he’d get in trouble since his visits were actually pretty fun. He’s figured out how to pick the locks on the keypads so even if Lance locked him out it would be no trouble to get in.

Matt also made it a point to “accidentally” walk in on Lance’s video chats. Lance would have been pissed, but he always repaid the favor when Matt was calling his sister, so they were even.

“Hey,” Hunk waved from his little box on the laptop screen, still in his Garrison uniform from class. Lance hummed as a way of greeting and leaned back a little to give Matt room. “Lance was telling me you guys met your pilot today?” Hunk asked and Matt nodded, leaning up against the desk.

“Oh yeah, Colonel Bernard Singhe. Cool guy, though he’s kind of a control freak.” Lance nodded his head, remembering how Bernard had made a critical comment about almost all of the flight procedures after five minutes on site. “He’s flown out before, I think, like, six years ago?” It had been a very poorly covered mission, no one even knew it had gone into space until it was on the return trip back. Lance leaned into the screen, cupping his hand to the side of his mouth.

“Between you and me, I think he’s just bitter that Shiro was the first pick pilot, not him.” He mock-whispered, making Hunk nod.

“Seven~” Matt sang, leaning close into Lance’s personal space. His smile would have put the Cheshire cat’s grin to shame, all teeth and teasing. Lance groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“Shut _up_ , dude.” 

“...What am I missing?” Hunk asked, glancing between the two.

“I’m keeping a track of how many times Lance talks about Shiro- without provocation, and we’re a 7 now.” Matt explained, waggling his eyebrows at a now very, very red Lance.

“Hunk, don’t you-” It was too late, Hunk was laughing on the other end of the call, clutching his stomach. Lance sulked, crossing his arm over his chest. “I haven’t talked about him that much!” He defended, which only set Matt of with his own laughter. 

“Oh my god, that’s great, but that’s nothing compared to how he would-” Hunk started, but Lance’s hands suddenly covered the screen.

“Ah-ah-ah-ahhh Sorry, man, space wifi’s cutting off-” 

“That’s not a thing.” Matt pointed out. Lance shot him a dirt look as he scrambled for the keyboard to end the call. 

“Shaddup! Bye Hunk!” Hunk was still laughing, tears forming in his eyes. 

“Wait-”

Bye!” The video feed cut out, leaving a black screen. There was a moment of stillness, neither Matt nor Lance saying anything. Then Matt leant across the desk to grab the small frame with a photo of Lance’s family.

“Your sister’s hot.”

“ _Get out, Matt!_ ”

\------  
**4 months**

Lance slumped against the desk, pressing his cheek to the cool metal. He felt like he’d been carrying around boulders all day after the physical training drills he had to get through. He said as much to Hunk over the video chat, who nodded his head sympathetically.

“Are you sure you didn’t get picked for the Olympics instead? Have you even seen the ship yet?” He asked, Lance shook his head. According to Dr. Holt, they wouldn’t be able to see the ship until a few weeks prior to launch. There were still test drills to be run and kinks to be buffed out before any humans were allowed to board. 

“No! It’s just more simulators and physical training! Colonel ‘Ten More Laps’ is a monster- I don’t think he’s human!” Again, Hunk nodded sympathetically.

“You’re pilot’s an alien, man. He’s using this mission to get back home.” Hunk concluded, making Lance snort. “But hey! At least he’s bulking you up before you go out there!” Lance groaned.

“Bulking up? Doesn’t feel like it.” Lance rolled his head so he was leaning on the other cheek. “I feel like I’m wasting away. It’s just too much.” He lamented. 

“So quit.” 

Lance’s head immediately shot up, because that voice was _definitely_ not Hunk’s. He looked closely at the screen, his eyes squinting a little, before going wide.

“Keith?!”

Keith waved from behind Hunk, half paying attention to the actual conversation while he played with his knife. Lance frowned at him. “What’d you say?” He asked, and then asked again until Keith actually looked up at him.

“If it’s too much, then quit. They can get other students who can handle it.” It was stated matter-of-factly, no malice behind it. Still, Lance reeled back as if he’s been slapped. 

“You think I’m just gonna quit?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Not gonna happen, Mullet. I’m on this mission for the long haul- _And,_ ” Lance slammed his hands onto the desk and leaned in, practically pressing his nose to the screen. “I’m gonna dominate the next few weeks of training, how do you like _that?_ ”

Keith shrugged, “You showed me, I guess.” Lance took that as a victory, grinning and leaning back in his chair. 

“What are you doing there anyw-” Lance stopped, then gasped dramatically, clutching his heart. “Hunk… Are you replacing me? With _Keith_?” Keith glanced up, arching a brow at the antics on the other end of the call. Hunk took a second, then shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, Keith is a lot more quiet. I can actually work for a few hours.” He said, looking between Lance and Keith. “Keith, you wouldn’t mind standing in for Lance, would you?” Keith smirked.

“I thought I already was.” Keith said, making sure to look as comfortable as possible as he took up Lance’s old space. 

“Wow… Woooooow. Just _wow_.” Lance looked absolutely devastated, throwing his hands in the air. Keith laughed quietly in the background. 

“Aw, c’mon, Lance, you know I could never replace you.” Hunk said placatingly. Lance huffed. 

“Damn right. So, don’t even go trying.” It was meant as a joke, but even Keith could hear the slight undertone of seriousness in Lance’s voice. No one mentioned it.

\------  
**3 Months, 12 Days**

It was very rare that Shiro and Lance’s schedules lined up enough that they could video chat. Either Shiro was teaching new students and standing in for more classes, or Lance was in training with the Holts and Colonel Singhe. Even so, they tried to stay in contact as much as possible.

“So, how was your turbulence training today? You mentioned it last time.” Shiro said as he scribbled out more notes on his papers. He was still doing research and writing papers, so it wasn’t uncommon for Shior to be working diligently while he and Lance talked. He absently tapped his pen against the edge of his clipboard, glancing up at Lance when he heard a noise of disgust. 

“Ugh, don’t bring that up. I almost hurled the second I stepped out of that death trap.” Lance shuddered at the memory of it. He had probably screamed the whole time, and Dr. Holt had to hold him steady while Matt took the test himself. It had not been his most shining moment. 

“I bet Matt had a field day with that,” Shiro said, but Lance shook his head. 

“Nope, he actually did throw up.” For how much Lance had screamed, he had at least held in his breakfast afterwards. He wasn’t planning to let Matt forget that for a long time. Shiro chuckled and went back to sorting out his papers for the next day. Now that Lance was away, he no longer had a personal student taking up his time. Thus, he was the Garrison’s new substitute professor. He’s get a schedule every week of what classes needed his help and what lectures he was allowed to sit in on. It was exhausting, but Shiro was glad to have the extra work to keep him busy. 

“Oh! We’re gonna be able to check out our ship in a few weeks! It’s finally coming in, all set to go! It’s kind of weird, now that I think about it. Like, it’s happening, you know?” Lance sounded so excited, Shiro smiled at his infectious enthusiasm. 

“Do you think they’ll let me put my f lag on Kerberos?” Lance asked, eyes wide. Shiro quirked a brow at the question. 

“You have your own flag?” Lance nodded, leaning back in his swivel chair, cupping his hands behind his head. 

“I’ve been working on my own design,” He sounded like he was bragging, but something suddenly caught his attention on Shiro’s side of the call when the older man leaned back a bit to look over his work. "Shiro? Can you lift your clipboard in front of your face?" He asked, insistent.

“Oh..Kay?" Slowly, Shiro raised the clipboard so his papers were right in front of him

"Oh my god- Shiro, are those- are those Star Wars stickers?" Shiro immediately slammed his clipboard back down, his cheeks flaming. To his utter mortification, Lance wasn’t wrong. There was a Star Destroyer, two light sabers and the symbol of the Rebellion stuck to the back of the clipboard. Shiro had used it since he was in middle school and had just… Forgotten they were there. He thanked every higher power that he hadn’t brought the clipboard to any meetings.

"That's so nerdy!" 

"They're good movies! Shut it, Lance!" One thing that Lance was astoundingly good at was making Shiro act ridiculously immature. Whether it was flicking a paper football between each other during their study breaks or making his defend his Star Wars stickers, Lance made him lose his adult facade and just act like… Him. It was a nice change, one that he occasionally needed and appreciated.

"Shiro's a nerd~! A little space nerd~!" Lance crowed, spinning around. In his chair with the biggest smile on his face. 

"And you're not?" 

"Never said I was! But it’s _you!_ It’s so cute!” Lance kept laughing, while Shiro was more interested in that last comment. It didn’t seem like Lance even realized he said it, so Shiro wasn’t going to ask about it, but he would definitely keep that in mind. 

\------  
**2 Months, 2 Weeks**

“So, you and Mr. Shirogane are close, I take it?” Sam Holt asked one night

“Uh, yeah. He was my teacher.” Lance said, nodding his head. Matt smiled.

“Yep, little Lance was Shiro’s star student! Definitely his favorite.” He chimed in, smiling at Lance innocently from across the mess hall table. The youngest crew member felt his cheeks go pink.

“We weren’t that close…” Lance said into his bowl of veggies, trying to hide as much as he could. Matt was not having it.

“Aw, don’t be shy!” Matt teased, which usually would have made Lance want to throw down, but he just blushed harder. 

“I’m not! He just- we didn’t even talk that much outside of my lessons,” Lance said and it was the truth, unless Shiro and he were in their study room they kept to themselves. It was a professional relationship outside of their lessons, distant. At least back at the Garrison, but Dr. Holt didn’t need to know that. 

“But you guys are always on- _ow!_ ” He bucked up from the table, restraining the urge to rub his, now bruised, shin. Lance sent him a quick glare before feigning innocence. 

“Are you alright, Matt?” Sam asked, eyeing his son curiously. Matt nodded, lifting his spoon. 

“Yeah, just bit my tongue.” It was a lame excuse, but Dr. Holt bought it anyway. 

“Then maybe there should be less talk and more eating, you’ll need all your energy for tomorrow.” The Colonel said, his voice clipped as he passed by the table

Lance was just glad that the subject was dropped as he went back to eating his food, not failing to notice Matt’s quick glances. 

\------  
**2 Months, 1 Day**

“I don’t know, man. Wifi isn’t something you can pull out of the orbit of the satellites.” Hunk tapped his pencil against his textbook, frowning at an inconsequential corner of the page. 

Lance hummed in agreement. “Unless you put a satellite around the ship? But the ship doesn’t have it’s own orbit, though.”

“The ship wouldn’t need an orbit. Just like… A satellite dish, but better.” Hunk said absently. 

“Wouldn’t the dish need to have something it can broadcast?” Lance asked, Hunk shook his head. 

“Nah, dude, it broadcasts and receives simultaneously. Like the Mars Rover.” He said, and Lance nodded.

“Though we could think of a way to get the ship it’s own internet signal. Not wifi, exactly,” Hunk suddenly shook his head. “Dude! I’m trying to do homework, not figure out a way for you to get space wifi!”

“But if you did, you could totally make a profit! Like, serious bank, my man. You could be a millionaire!” Lance whined, spinning in his chair so he was watching Hunk, upside down, over the back of it. His best friend propped up his textbook against Lance’s face, blocking him out before he could entertain the conversation further. 

They fell into a plaintive lull. Hunk worked on his botanical analysis and Lance went over fright procedures and schedules. This happened often, the two of them would have a pointless debate over whatever weird topic that came up, then fall into quiet working, then pick up a random conversation again. It was familiar cycle.

Enough time had passed that Lance chose to pick up conversation. 

“Does Shiro ever talk about me?” Hunk glanced up and smirked.

“Actually, yeah.” Lance spun around in his chair so fast he nearly fell out of it. 

“Really?!” 

“Yeah, all the time. He’ll just be like,” Hunk lifted a hand to put dangly fingers in front of his headband in a poor mockery of Shiro’s forelock. “‘I miss Lance, guys. I miss his voice and his cute little butt.’ Stuff like that. All the time.” 

“You’re joking.” Lance’s shoulders deflated while he frowned at his best friend. 

“I’m just enhancing a few details.” Hunk said innocently, but Lance didn’t buy it for a second.

\------  
**1 Month, 3 Weeks**

“What’s your family like?” Lance asked randomly during one of his and Shiro’s calls. Shiro blinked at the younger man, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

“Why do you ask?” It wasn’t like Shiro was adverse to talking about his family and life before the Garrison, it was a just an odd question at 11:30 in the evening. 

“Just feels unfair, you know? You know basically all about where I come from and my family and stuff like that, but I don’t know anything about you besides the fact you’re, like, at least part Japanese?” Lance said, which was a valid point. Shiro nodded. 

“What makes you think that?” Shiro asked. Lance laughed. 

“I mean… Takashi Shirogane isn’t exactly Canadian, dude.” He said, grinning. Shiro, on the other hand, felt his ears heat up. 

He hadn’t heard his full name in a while. Most members at the Garrison were already predisposed to be on a last name basis with each other and almost everyone who knew him only called him Shiro. Hearing his first name used so casually like that was… Strange, but not in a bad way.

“Uh.. Yeah, It’s Japanese- I’m Japanese, I mean.” Shiro said,and Lance didn’t seem to mind or even notice how stuttered his speech was. He continued looking at Shiro expectantly in honest curiosity. So he kept talking.

“I was born in Japan, and lived with my mom and grandfather.” Shiro went on, “He used to take me sailing on the water and stargazing when my mom was working. Tell me all about the different constellations and the old stories about the moon and stars. I think that was what made me want to go up in space, fly out to all these stars that my grandfather would talk about with me for hours.” He paused and looked at Lance, wondering if he ad bored the other since he was so quiet. Rather, Lance was staring back, giving his full attention, liked hearing about Shiro’s past was fascinating.

“My favorite was probably the story of Tanabata, he’d tell me that one all the time.”

“What’s it about?”

“Well, Tanabata is about two lovers. Princess Orihime and Hikoboshi, the cow herder. Orihime was the seamstress of the stars, and she wove beautiful clothes near the Milky Way, called the Heavenly River. Because Orihime worked so hard to make her clothes, she gave up on ever finding love. 

“So, her father, who only wanted his child to be happy, came to the decision that she would meet Hikoboshi, a cow herder who came from the other side of the Heavenly River. The two fell in love almost immediately and they got married soon after. It was a match like no other. But, their love for each other got to be a problem when Orihime stopped weaving and Hikoboshi just let his cows free among the stars. They would rather be with each other. 

“Orihime’s father got so angry and wanted to stop the lovers from being together, but Orihime begged him to let them stay with each other. He let up and made it so that the two could only meet once a year, on the 7th day of the 7th month. But, that was only if Orihime went back to weaving beautiful clothes and Hikoboshi went back to tending his herd. 

“After the first year of being apart, they met again, only to see the Heavenly River was still unrelenting and continued to separate them. The two became so heart broken that a flock of magpies came to make a bridge for Orihime to get across. So now there’s a saying that if it rains on Tanabata, the magpies won’t be able to come make their bridge and the two lovers will have to wait one more year. Their story is shown in the stars Vega and Altair, who only meet each other once a year.” Shiro finished his story with a nostalgic sigh, remembering all the different time his Grandfather had described this story. He looked up, realizing that he had gone off without knowing if Lance was still even listening. He was; still leaning against his desk and staring at Shiro in wrapped attention. 

“Sorry, that sounded pretty sappy. My grandfather told it better, anyway.” Shiro apologized, scratching the back of his neck. Lance just smiled. 

“I liked it. I mean, the father’s an asshole, I can see why it was your favorite.” He said softly, almost dazedly. Then said, “I think you told it just fine.” Lance still seemed curious.

“When did you come to America?” He asked and Shiro shrugged. 

“Around the time I was 11, I think. I grandfather passed away and my mom thought I could get a better education here. So she sold what she could and got us both here. It was difficult, her being a single mom and me being a brand new student in American schools with broken English.” Shiro laughed quietly to himself, remembering how awkward and awe-struck he had been during his first few months in the States. “But eventually, I was able to graduate early and got into the Galaxy Garrison before anyone else in my class.” He explained. Lance nodded his head slowly, still processing everything. 

“I never knew any of that.” Lance said and Shiro shrugged. 

“I never told anyone. Except Keith, but I’ve known him for years.”

“So… Why didn't you take the opportunity to go to Kerberos? If you’ve always wanted to go into space, why didn’t you?” Lance asked after a few moments of silence.

“It just wasn’t the right time. That, and I found it’s really fulfilling to help younger people reach that goal, even if I never achieve it myself.” Shiro explained, smiling softly. Lance smiled back, then shook his head. 

“I think you will. Whether it’s now or in a year, I think you’re gonna get to the stars eventually.” And he really sounded like he believed it, so, Shiro started to believe it as well. 

\-----  
**1 Month**

Lance and Shiro were talking again, both tired beyond believe, but unwilling to call it a night just yet. Lance was just telling Shiro about his latest examination results, when there was a knock on Shiro’s door.  
“Be right back,” Shior said, getting up from his chair while Lance nodded. Shiro didn’t feel the need to pause the feed, so he left it running as he went and opened the door. One of the older cadets waited for him, a few folders in hand. 

“Professor Iverson said to bring these to you. They’re schedule changes for next week.” The cadet said meekly, handing over the folders with shaking hands. Shiro took them with a nod. There was still some weird energy from people when they were around him, Shiro noticed. Lance tried to explain it was because Shiro was some kind of hero to the younger students, but he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. 

“Thank you.” The cadet nodded and opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but then promptly shut it and walked away. Shiro watched him go before tucking the folders under his arm and turning back into his room.

“I’m back, just had to get a new…” Shiro trailed off as he looked at the screen. Lance had fallen asleep in his absence, head propped up in his hand while he snored softly. Shiro watched Lance through the monitor, eyes drawn to the steady rise and fall of his chest and the peaceful look on his face. He allowed himself a small, private smile. 

“Good night, Lance.” Shiro whispered, and if he was a little selfish and let the chat run for a few moments longer than necessary, then no one would ever have to know. 

\-------  
**15 Days**

“You sure you don’t want a ride? My dad and I could give you a lift to the airport.” Matt said while zipping his overstuffed duffle bag closed. Lance shook his head. 

“Nah, I’m good. Besides, I know you want to get home as soon as possible.”

The crew of the Kerberos Mission was being allowed a few days to spend with their families before being shipped out. It was only a week and a half, seeing as they still needed to come back for last minute drills, but Lance was more than happy to take whatever time he could get with his family. The Holts were just as excited, though Colonel Singhe seemed less than thrilled to have a week of ‘unproductive nonsense’ instead of training. 

Lance hoisted his own bags over his shoulder. He was getting a state escort to the airport where he would meet up with his older sister and her fiancé then fly to Florida and his family home. Matt and his dad only had to drive to the nearby city. It was in the opposite direction, so Lance would ask them to wait any longer to get home. 

“You almost done?” Lance chuckled as Matt tried to shove in even more of his clothes into the side pockets of his bag. 

“Ugh, yeah.” Matt said once he finally zipped the last pocket closed, the seams close to bursting. “Yeah, let’s go. My dad’s waiting near the loading dock out back.” Lance stepped aside to let Matt lead the way. 

They walked slowly through the long corridors, chatting idly about any plans they already had with their families. 

“Katie’s been working on making her own hacking software, so we’re seeing if we can test it out.” Matt said, getting that look on his face that told Lance he didn’t want anymore details. It was a face that Lance had learned to always associate with the infamous Katie Holt. 

“As long as it’s not tested on any of my stuff, have fun.” Lance turned the corner, playfully knocking Matt’s shoulder with his bag. “While you’re trying to take down the government, I’ll be eating so much food I won’t be able to walk. My mom’s totally set on feeding me every single one of her recipes before I leave.” Matt laughed, since his mom was probably going to do the same thing. 

“I think all of Singhe’s training is gonna be for nothing. We’re just going to eat and forget all his tactics.” He said and Lance nodded his head in agreement. 

“I won’t tell him if you don’t.” Lance offered, which made Matt grin in silent acceptance. They continued walking until they made it to one of the lots for government issued cruisers and tucks. They saluted at a few of the passing generals and officers, and nodded to some of the scientists who had been preparing them. They were back in the main building when Lance spoke again. 

“Do you think Shiro will show up?” Lance asked, voice quiet. Matt stopped walking and looked at the younger cadet. For as much as Lance brought up his tutor like a crushing school girl, Matt wasn’t blind to Lance’s obvious feelings. Matt didn’t know if anything would ever come from it, had know idea how they could make things work if they did make that leap. It just wasn’t something he could make a decision about. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t root for Lance all the way. 

Matt smiled at Lance with a sincerity he rarely showed to anyone who wasn’t extremely close to him and nudged Lance with his elbow. 

“I’m sure if you want him there, he’ll be in the front row to see you off.” Matt promised. Lance let out a small breath.

“Thanks, Matt.” He was happy to call Matt his friend. They’d grown close over the last five months and Lance knew that, even if he was teased mercilessly, he could trust the older boy to back him up. 

“And if he doesn’t, you can be the first person to flip a guy off from space!”

\------  
**5 Days**

“So, Lance is going up in a few days.” Shiro said offhandedly while he and Keith walked through one of the many different wings of the Garrison. Keith nodded, eyeing his friend.

“Uh-huh.” He said, waiting to see if Shiro had anything else to say on the matter. When Shiro didn’t, Keith spoken again. “Did you want to see him off?” 

Shiro shook his head. “The launch is reserved for close friends and family, I don’t think his old tutor counts.” He spoke solemnly, and Keith shrugged.

“It’s up to you, but Lance definitely considers you as a close...” Keith didn’t finish the thought in favor of letting it hang in the air. A moment passed, then Keith continued on as if he hadn’t left a sentence unfinished. “Hunk and I are going. It’s a Saturday, so we got out of classes.” Shiro stared down at him.

“You never told me you were going.” Which was strange, because Keith always told him everything, whether Shiro wanted him to or not. 

“You never asked.” Keith said snidely, but it wasn’t like Shiro really thought he would have to. “So, do you want to go to the launch?” Keith repeated, making the other frown. 

“I still have two lectures I need to sit in on.” Shiro said solemnly. He weighed the options in his head. Go to another couple of boring lectures for course he’s already taken, or go see Lance in person before he went into space for eleven months. It really was a no-brainer, but Shiro couldn’t stop the fact that he had a job to do. Keith watched Shiro while he dealt with his moral struggles and eventually sighed. 

“Just come to the launch. He’ll want to see you.” Keith sounded like he was completely exasperated, and Shiro honestly couldn’t blame him. For however much Shiro was supposed to be a leader and a prime example for students, he was absolutely hopeless when it came to dealing with feelings and keeping them separate from work. But... Maybe this one time, Shiro could make an exception. 

\------  
**10 Minutes**

There were news vans and reporters all around the base, multiple news stations trying to get exclusive access on the Kerberos flight. Thankfully, any and all reporters were restricted so that the family and friends of the crew members could say their final goodbyes. 

The Holts were tucked away near the entrance to the flight deck, Sam hugging his wife (Lance had been given strict instructions to refer to Dr. Holt as Sam now. “Dr. Holt makes me sound so old. We’ve been working together for over four months now, the least you can do is call me by my name.” Sam had chuckled during dinner one night.) while Matt was talking to his little sister, Katie. Lance had only met her once before, and had spoken with her a few times when he was able to steal Matt’s phone. She had a wonderful stash of dirt on Matt that Lance took full advantage of. 

Katie looked a little teary when Matt hugged her, but she refused to let the tears fall during the whole thing. Instead, she punched Matt in the arm. 

Bernard Singhe didn’t have any family, but some of his old flight buddies had come to send him off. One had unsuccessfully tried to sneak him a bottle of whiskey as a present, which he probably would have accepted if security hadn’t gotten to it first. He wasn't much for goodbyes, anyway. To him, this was a simple mission. Head up, grab some samples for the scientists, and then come back and wait for the next opportunity.

Lance’s goodbye took a little longer. He seemed to have gotten swallowed by the swarm of family members who came see him off. About a dozen hyperactive, fast-talking Cuban Americans all trying to get in one last hug or kiss. Even Hunk and his family had somehow squeezed themselves into the crowd. It was a miracle Lance wasn’t crushed to death. 

Shiro stood off to the side next to Keith. He had been able to convince his superiors to give him the day off so he could come see the launch, in exchange for sitting in on an extra class the next morning. A small price to pay, in Shiro’s opinion, even though Keith had grumbled about how they had monopolized his time for no reason. 

Soon enough, Lance disentangled himself from his parents. His mother looked like she had been trying not to cry for a while and his father didn’t look far behind. Max was openly sobbing into his father’s shoulder, looking like he was ready to jump onto the ship himself if that meant his big brother didn’t have to leave. Still, they all looked to be glowing with pride as they watched Lance walk over to his tutor. 

“So, this is it.” Lance said, and the other man nodded.

“You have your flag ready?” Shiro asked and Lance snorted.

“No, they wouldn’t let me, but I’m gonna get one up there one of these days.” Lance shifted on his feet. “So… Thank you, again. I’d prepare yourself, my mom might come over here and invite you to dinner.” 

Shiro chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind.” He noticed that Dr. Holt and Matt were heading towards the base entrance, where the team would then go to the loading and launch deck. “You should probably go.” He didn’t mean to sound like he was pushing Lance away, he just didn’t want Lance to be late.

“Oh,” Lance looked behind him, then back at Shiro. “Right, should- yeah,” He took a step back, then stopped, like something was physically holding him back. “I just,... Thank you, Shiro.” There was something else he wanted to say, Shiro could tell by the way Lance was looking so hopeful. Even so, Lance seemed to pull himself back together, gave Shiro one last nod, then started walking to meet the Holts and Colonel Singhe. 

Shiro watched him walk off, feeling like he missed something. Before he could try and pinpoint what it was on his own, Keith stepped up behind him.

“I only know this from those stupid rom-coms you used to make me watch,” Shiro knew for a fact that Keith adored those movies, even if he didn’t understand half of them. “But I’m pretty sure you were supposed to kiss him just now.” Keith looked up at him with a leveled stare. “Just saying.”

Shiro opened his mouth, a discouraging comment on the tip of his tongue, but it never got past his lips. Instead, Hunk took the opportunity to shove Shiro from behind, pushing him forward a step or two. He glared at them, despite their innocent expressions. But, Shiro conceded to himself, maybe they had a point. This was his last chance if he wanted to take it. There were people and cameras and it would be so awkward if it didn’t go well, but he didn’t think he could wait another year of not knowing. Granted, Shiro may not go with Keith’s exact plan, but he had to say _something_. So, he squared his shoulders and steeled his nerve. Shiro turned back around, mouth half open to call Lance back-

He never needed to because he suddenly had arms wrap around his neck to pull him down. 

Lance kissed him. Right there, in front of his family and friends and all these people they didn’t even know. Lance was kissing him and he was so shocked he barely had the brain capacity to kiss back. 

It was sloppy, as far as first kisses go. Their lips weren’t fitting together smoothly and at one point Lance was kissing the bottom of his nose more than his mouth. It was disjointed and inexperienced, but oh so enthusiastic that Shiro wouldn’t have traded it for anything. They both heard a few cat calls and whistles from behind them, but hardly paid any attention. 

Lance pulled away first, his entire face practically glowing with how much he was blushing. He kept his hands on Shiro's shoulders, though and Shiro vaguely noticed that he had placed his own hands on Lance’s waist during the kiss. 

“I-I gave you one, so… Uh, I’m expecting one from you when I get back..?” It trailed off as more of a question, Lance’s inexperience with this sort of thing shining through. Still, the silent question was no less there. 

_Was that okay?_

And the more important question.

_Please wait for me?_

Shiro smiled, and nodded his head. “I promise.” He whispered, letting Lance know that he would wait however long it took him to get back.

Lance’s eyes widened impossibly before his face broke into the biggest smile Shiro had ever seen. 

“Right! I mean- yeah, okay! I mean-” Lance was bursting with happiness, literally shaking with it. He lunged forward to hug Shiro one last time, “I’ll come back!” He promised. 

Then Lance turned and sprinted away towards the launch deck, on his way to Kerberos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends chapter three!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's left comments, kudos or just taken the time to read this. Knowing you guys enjoy the story honestly means the world to me. 
> 
> Don't be shy! If you'd like to talk, come message me on Tumblr (castleofklance) or Twitter (@CastleS_L)


	4. Miss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY this took me a month! It was going to be up two weeks ago but Google Docs crashed and deleted the file and I hated how it was anyway so it was like a blessing in disguise! I promise the next chapter won't take so long!
> 
> This is huge transition from all the fluff- I mean... I've never written angst like this before, so any comments or criticisms would be hugely appreciated!! 
> 
> This is just sadness, plain sadness and I'm so sorry..

Lance groaned when the fog in his head started to clear. His leg was killing him and the headache that was pounding at the base of his skull was enough to make him dizzy. What had even happened? They had been on Kerberos; Matt and Sam had been extracting ice from the tube while Lance recorded the numbers that appeared on the scanner. Singhe had been overseeing the whole endeavor, monitoring the equipment and the crew members from the ship’s hub. Everything had been perfectly fine until-

“They don’t seem to know anything useful, my Lord.” That… was not a voice he recognized. Lance’s eyes opened and he looked up. He almost wished he hadn’t.

Purple was the first thing his eyes registered. Lots and lots of purple and the biggest man- wait. Lance shook his head, forcing his disoriented vision to focus on the gigantic… _thing_ that stood before him. The purple being was on a platform a few feet away, and appeared to be talking to a huge screen. He was… it was… Lance felt his head spin while he tried to process just what he was looking. The body of a man with purple fur, giant bat ears…it wasn't human. Lance _knew_ that whatever was standing in front of him wasn’t human but... 

He had to be dreaming. That was the only explanation! God, he was dreaming and he’d wake up any second to Matt snoring in the bunk next to him back in the ship. Any second now.

“Who are you?” Colonel Singhe demanded from Lance’s side. Lance hadn’t even realized Singhe was next to him Lance looked over at the man; he seemed real, like Lance could reach out and touch him. This was slightly unsettling, but Lance reasoned that the dream was just really vivid. Lance looked to his right and saw Sam and Matt. But their helmets were on- weird. But again, he was dreaming, he was just-

“We’re scientists, exporters! We didn’t mean any harm- Are you listening?!” The Colonel barked again and Lance wanted to speak, but his throat was like sandpaper. The ma- who was Lance kidding- the alien turned around finally and looked down at them like they were parasites on the bottom of his shoe. Lance felt his whole body curl in at the sight of glowing yellow eyes. 

Just a little bit longer, he thought, and this nightmare will end.  
The alien turned back towards the screen and Lance swore to himself never to eat space peas before bed because the alien was talking to a fucking purple lizard on steroids with a burnt face. What was wrong with him- was he on drugs or something? He’d never dream this stuff up normally. 

Singhe snarled at being ignored.

“They are primitive, Lord Zarkon. They don’t even know the Common Tongue.” The giant koala-bat-man said to the lizard on the monitor. What did that even mean? What was Common Tongue? They definitely weren’t taught that at the Garrison. 

Lance risked a glance to his left. Singhe looked confused as the lizard man frowned. At least, Lance thought he was frowning. It was hard to tell when half of his mouth was overlapping jagged lines.

“Do with them what you will, Commander Sendak. Continue on your course to the Ninth Sector. Vrepit Sa.” The lizard- Zarkon- said. Lance frowned in confusion; he didn’t understand what that meant at all. 

Sendak pressed a fist to the breastplate of his suit. “Vrepit Sa.” He echoed before the feed went dead. He turned back to the humans.

Lance would wake up soon. He was sure of it.

“What’d you say?” Singhe was trying his best to stay authoritative, but his hands shook. Singhe was petrified, Lance realized. “We’re peaceful, you hear me? Scientists!” Sendak only wrinkled his nose, his ears twitching. He didn’t seem to understand what the captain was saying.

Lance wondered desperately when this would be over and he would finally wake up. He just wanted to wake up.

Singhe stood suddenly, a look of panic on his face. He was scared, he was confused and he was a man who couldn’t handle things that he didn’t understand. He took a step towards the alien, mouth open for another plea, while the guard who had been behind him shifted. Sendak sneered down his nose at the man. 

This was when you wake up, Lance thought. Right now, before anything really bad happened.

“We’re-” It happened so quickly. There was a piercing hiss and then Lance stared, horrified, as Colonel Singhe’s body dropped to the floor. There was a gaping hole that went straight through his skull. Red spilled over the floor, and Lance vaguely registered the feeling of blood splatter staining his left cheek. 

He hadn’t even seen the guard behind them pull his weapon. It had been automatic and immediate reaction to sudden movement that the guard completed without hesitation. Lance couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, every single muscle in his body was tensed up and his brain was stalling on itself, static. The illusion of it all being just a dream fell away as reality set in when the smell of iron hit his nose. Lance wasn’t waking up. Singhe was dead and the remaining members of the Kerberos crew were the captives of vicious, murderous aliens. It would have been comical if Lance didn’t feel the sudden urge to throw up.

“You… you just…” Lance was shaking, his suit rattling around him, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from Singhe’s corpse. He’d just been alive two minutes ago and now he was… a pile of bones and flesh to be wiped away. Like he meant nothing. These aliens had murdered him like he meant nothing. He was suddenly swallowed by a sickening resentment for the creatures standing around them, as well as a crippling fear.

Lance wanted to go home. He wanted to be back on Earth with his mom and dad and siblings, he wanted to be back in his dorm with Hunk. Lance wanted to be back in Shiro’s arms again. Lance felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He just wanted to go home and get out of this nightmare. “How could you just…” Sendak’s eyes flicked towards him in interest.

“So, at least one of you is competent in language.” He said idly, and crossed to them so he was standing over the small human. Lance flinched as his chin was grabbed and his face was yanked upwards. “You seem to understand me just fine. Unlike that one.” Sendak kicked Singhe’s corpse with the toe of his boot. Lance couldn’t help it; he curled away from the massive creature with a pathetic, terrified whimper.

“P-please don’t- ah!” Sendak gripped Lance by the collar of his suit and lifted him up with minimal effort. His feet dangled inches off the ground while Sendak sneered at him with those cold yellow eyes. They were even more terrifying up close and Lance swallowed down the lump in his throat.

“Unless you’d like to join him, I wouldn't go much further, pest.” He warned and dropped Lance back onto the floor. “Pathetic. A thing like you won’t last in the arena.” Sendak made a dismissive gesture to the guards behind the remaining three humans. “You may inform your comrades of your situation once you are in your cells.” he smiled and Lance wanted to cry with how horrifically cruel it looked

“Welcome to the Empire.”

\-------

Shiro whistled quietly as he walked towards one of the free study rooms, hands fitted in his pockets with several reports tucked under his arm. Shiro had to admit, staying on Earth was more trouble than he expected. The workload was intense and while Shiro enjoyed teaching, he still had a long way to go before he could have a class of his own. For now, he just had to keep working a little harder. He passed by the instructor’s lounge, glancing inside for only a moment to see if there were any professors he could drop his reports off to.

“..... Kerberos Mission…. 6 months out…..all the crew....”

Shiro paused, turning his head towards Mr. Montgomery, a physics professor at the Garrison. He was speaking to another professor that Shiro didn't recognize. They both looked pretty shaken, but Shiro took a step towards them anyway.

“Um, sir?” Shiro asked, making Montgomery jump slightly. “I’m sorry, but I heard you talking about the Kerberos Mission?” Whoever Mr. Montgomery was speaking to coughed and politely excused themselves. Montgomery blinked up at Shiro, his expression pinched.

“Oh... Well, that’s-” He stopped, then sighed. “Just follow me.” The professors said heavily and gestured for Shiro to follow him out into the hallway. Once they were both out of earshot of the other professors, Montgomery cleared his throat. “I’m afraid to say this, but...” He squared his shoulders. “The Garrison just received word from the research base for Kerberos. I’ve a good friend on the base and... The ship went down, unfortunately. We’re not too clear on the details yet, but…there weren’t any survivors.” He looked up at Shiro, but the assistant teacher wasn’t looking back. Shiro was staring at his feet, hands balled into tight fists at his sides, crumpling the reports.

“...Sir… I don’t-” Shiro began, but Montgomery shushed him with a hand on his arm.

“It’s a lot to process. I understand that one of your past students was on the mission, and personal friends. I’m sorry, lad. There’s nothing we could do.” He said assuredly and Shiro couldn’t even bring himself to nod. He was still trying to process everything. No survivors. That’s what he’d said.

“What happened?” Shiro eventually asked, his throat tight. Montgomery frowned at him, eyes widening by a fraction, before he smiled cryptically.

“Best not to ask too many questions, Shirogane. We can’t alter what’s happened. All we can do now is pick up the pieces and try to move on.” He said. Montgomery gave an oddly strong squeeze to Shiro’s shoulder before walking away, leaving Shiro alone in the hallway.

Shiro’s blood had gone cold, his heartbeat had skyrocketed, and he hadn’t realized he hadn’t moved for a while until another professor bumped into him, muttering something about respect for the elders. Shiro hardly noticed and continued to stand in the middle of the hallway. Other professors and advisors talked amiably inside the lounge, completely oblivious to world slowly breaking and collapsing at Shiro’s feet.

Everything felt strange, like it wasn’t real and Shiro was going to wake up and find it was all some giant nightmare. It just couldn’t be possible. It was hard to breathe, to think and Shiro blinked rapidly because it just didn’t make and _sense_. There was no way that the ship could have gone down. The whole hallway suddenly seemed a hundred feet longer, stretching out in front of him him while everyone around him slowly faded out. His stomach twist itself into a knot, but the urge to be sick didn’t hit him, like he was unable to really feel anything at all. He didn’t notice his feet moving until he was at the study room, and the door was hissing open. If anything, it was safe bet for privacy. Too many people would be able to come to his room and anywhere else would have students. No one would bother him if they didn’t know where he was. 

“Shiro?” Keith was sitting at the small table in the center of the small study room, a flight manual opened in front of him. He looked at Shiro curiously. “You okay?”

“Um...” Shiro swallowed thickly, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know.” He probably looked awful if the way Keith was looking at him was anything to go by. Keith pushed out one of the extra seats at the table with his foot and gestured to it.

“Shiro, sit down.” Keith said and Shiro obeyed mechanically, throwing the wrinkled reports onto the table. Keith looked around the room, a nervous habit when he didn’t really know what to do. Usually it was him who would act strange and Shiro would have to be the one to pry information out of him, not the other way around. “So...what happened?”

“Lance…”

“What about Lance?” Keith didn't like where this was going.

“He, uh... The ship...”

“Shiro, what are you talking about?” Shiro took in a steadying breath.

“The ship to Kerberos went down. It…crashed, or something. We just found out.”

“I’m guessing the crew didn’t make it?” Keith asked, voice shaky. Shiro nodded his head slowly and Keith let out a breath he didn’t remember taking in. “Fuck that’s… Jesus…” He fell back in his chair, shoulders slumping. It felt like he’d just had a cold blanket draped over him, sucking out all the heat in his body and leaving him with a vacant chill. Keith couldn’t have imagined what it must have been like for Shiro.

Shiro was silent, eyes distant while he looked at the papers he had scattered. Saying it out loud felt…wrong. Like by saying it, Shiro made it true and there was no way of it being a mistake. 

The truth of the situation finally registered fully as the words fell out of Shiro’s mouth and he felt utterly nauseous. Dr. Holt was dead. Matt was dead. _Lance_ was dead. They were all gone and there was nothing to be done about it.

“Shiro..?” He finally looked up to see the younger cadet staring at him. Keith’s hands were shaking.

“I think I’m still trying to process this myself.” Shiro admitted with a small shrug, and a stiff silence fell between them. Keith looked like he might be sick, and Shiro didn’t feel much better. A cold hollowness had formed in the pit of his stomach. His chest hurt. Everything hurt.

“Shiro. I-I’m sorry.” Keith said in a small voice and Shiro felt oddly bitter about being given sympathy. What about Lance’s family? The Holts? Shiro let out a long sigh.

“I still need to tell Hunk.” Keith stared at him, puzzled.

“Why? Why should you have to tell everyone?”

“Well, do you want to tell him?” Shiro shot back and Keith ducked his head, guilt flashing in his eyes. The older man sighed and placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder in silent apology. “Either I tell him now, or he hears about it in the canteen tomorrow morning.” He said and Keith conceded with a slow nod of his head.

“You should go now, it’ll be curfew soon.” Keith said and Shiro nodded, even though he really, really didn’t want to.   
“You don’t want to come with me?” He asked, almost hopeful. Keith shook his head.   
“He’s gonna cry- I- I want to, but… I don’t think I can-” Keith looked panicked, and Shiro knew the guilt was eating at him, but Keith just wasn't the kind of person who could be an emotional rock for someone else. It was unfair to ask Keith to put himself out there when he obviously wasn’t comfortable. Shiro nodded his head in understanding.   
“I’ll tell him now. You can be there for him afterwards, when I can’t be.” He said gently, and Keith agreed quietly.   
They talked for a few more minutes, but Shiro could see the way Keith’s shoulders shook and his fingers twitched, he didn’t want to talk about this anymore, and, frankly, neither did Shiro.

“Good luck.” Keith said to Shiro, who was halfway through the door. Shiro turned back to give a shaky smile, but then it dropped. He didn't feel like putting up a brave face. He knew Keith wouldn’t judge him for it and Shiro knew Keith was grieving just as much. Keith just needed his alone time to deal with it. So, Shiro nodded and headed out.

When the door closed behind Shiro, he had to wait all of three seconds before he heard the flight manual crash into a wall. Shiro would have gone back in, but he would have taken the book and thrown it himself. If he didn’t feel so disconnected like he was, he just might have.

Halfway to Hunk’s dorm room, Shiro started to second guess himself. His legs felt stiff, almost numb as he walked. Part of him didn't want to go. Maybe Keith was right. Who was he to deliver the news? Keith had been one thing; they were like family- but Hunk? Hunk had his own family who would eventually tell him…. weeks after the fact, and no doubt students would hear professors talking and tell Hunk. He didn’t deserve to find out like that, by some petty gossip between students. Hunk was Lance’s best friend and deserved to know what had happened as soon as possible, no matter how much it hurt. So, there really wasn’t any turning back once Shiro stood in front of Hunk’s door. With one last sigh, he knocked twice.

“Hey, Shiro,” Hunk greeted as he opened the door, peering around the other man curiously. “Something up?” Hunk was still smiling, which made the black pit in Shiro’s stomach only grow. He nodded.

“Yeah, I…” Shiro cleared his throat. “We need to talk, buddy.” Hunk tilted his head in confusion, but stepped out of the way to let the other man inside. “You should probably sit down.” He said and Hunk sat on his bed cautiously.

“Okay? Shiro, if you’re here about classes, I’m doing fine.” Hunk said with a small smile. Shiro shook his head.

“No that’s-that’s not it.”

And then Shiro told him everything he knew, but there was really only one detail that really mattered to Hunk. Lance was dead, never coming back. Their goodbye at the launch had been their absolute last. Hunk was silent for a few minutes, his eyes gone distant. Then his face started to crumble, followed by his shoulders and then finally he dropped forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“No way….” He said, and his voice started to shake. “There’s no way….” Shiro watched as Hunk’s world collapsed around him and there was absolutely nothing Shiro could do. He hated it more than anything in the world.

The tears that filled Hunk’s eyes weren’t a surprise, and it seemed like Hunk hardly noticed them. He was completely still, staring at the floor like it had all the answers. Shiro moved closer and placed a gentle hand on the cadet’s shoulder, trying to grab his attention.

“Hunk? Hey, buddy, come on. Stay with me.” The last thing he needed was for Hunk to go into shock. Slowly, the cadet blinked and looked up at him. Then he completely broke down, doubling over and sobbing into his knees while Shiro tried desperately to comfort him. Shiro rubbed slow circles into Hunk’s back, remaining a constant presence that Hunk could ignore or take comforts in. 

One thing was for sure: telling Hunk that his best friend was gone was the single most difficult thing Shiro had ever done.

\-------

It was all over the news for weeks; every TV station, newspaper and radio show were talking about how, after 6 months, the Kerberos mission had gone down, burned up in the cold vacuum of space. Of course, everyone had their own little twist to what really happened. One reporter said that the ship had broken up into several pieces while another claimed the ship had been crushed into oblivion. Others said that it had crashed into Kerberos or it blew up mid-flight.

But one detail always remained constant; the Kerberos Mission crashed due to crew malfunctions. The ship was perfectly fine, but something had gone wrong with those inside that caused it to crash. Nobody knew exactly what had happened since all the audio files collected from the ground base were classified and away from public knowledge, but despite the fact that there wasn’t any real evidence to show what had really happened , it wasn’t hard for the masses to find somebody to blame.

Some journalists and government officials tried to dissuade the notion that the entire mission could be corrupted by one person, but the people had chosen their scapegoat. There was only person who was a part of the Kerberos Mission who hadn’t trained and worked for half their life for it. Only one person had been able to land a place in the crew after only half a semester of work- and who wasn’t even the top of his class. It was easy to find fault after fault when people were scared and upset.   
Lance McClain had gone from the Garrison’s prized student to the country’s greatest failure.

\-------

There was a memorial for the entire crew. It was publicly televised and covered, and was open for anyone who wished to pay their respects. Nearly half of the Garrison attended: both students and professors alike. Thousands had come to the base where the Kerberos ship had launched from. Sam Holt’s wife and daughter stayed separate from the masses, their legs stiff as they laid down flowers in front of the building.

Shiro and Keith were invited to the personal funerals that were held afterards. Shiro would have been invited to Matt and Sam’s anyway, but Hunk had specifically requested that Shiro and Keith attend Lance’s the next day.

It was a respectful burial; everyone dressed in black, heads bowed. No scandals or rumors could have swayed anyone's mind. They were there to say goodbye to a good kid who’d been taken away far too soon.

Direct family and very close friends were stood on the right side of the grave, while more distant relatives and friends surrounded them. Shiro stood with Keith on the left side of the grave, hands balled into fists. Other cadets and friends from Lance’s home life surrounded them. 

Shiro never would have imagined how painful it was to see Mrs. McClain quietly cry over her son’s empty casket, while a priest gave a short sermon. That was probably the worst part, in Shiro’s opinion. There weren’t even any bodies to bury, just empty boxes for people who shouldn't have needed them in the first place. Lance’s older sister gave a speech, her voice loud and commanding; it made sense why Lance had been so loud if he spent his whole life trying to talk over her. She talked about Lance’s childhood, his hobbies, his friends, and other little stories. Amelia was actually able to get a laugh out of the crowd when she talked about how Lance had cut off her ponytail the day before her first school dance and how she’d duct taped him to the garage door. She talked about how good her little brother was, how he was always able to make people smile. She told them how Lance had been such a good big brother and role model for his siblings, while she held little Max McClain’s hand. Lastly, Amelia talked about how proud she was to call Lance her little brother, how proud her whole family was. Lance’s father nodded along, but he looked too choked up to give a speech himself.

During the speech, Keith kept his head hung low, his face hidden. Hunk held his head up, standing beside his parents, trying to keep tears from spilling down his cheeks as he said goodbye to his best friend. People all around were crying and mourning and Shiro felt so disgusted with himself that he couldn't even manage to tear up. It was like there was a barrier between him and the whole situation. It felt like he wasn’t allowed to feel the pain yet, when everyone else around him was. He felt numb, like none of the things happening around him had processed yet.

The casket was lowered into the ground and flowers were laid on the freshly packed dirt. Each family member of the family had a white flower to place on the hood of the casket, walking up one at a time. Hunk and his family put down three lilies. Shiro recognized Lance’s little sister as she walked up with a flower in one hand and that same stuffed shark that Lance had broken his arm over in the other. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy, and her brother walked up next to her ( who Shiro noticed was a near carbon copy of Lance.) They both placed their flowers down and went back to stand with their parents.

Shiro’s fingers shook horribly while he placed the only red rose on the casket.

Afterwards, the entire McClain family dispersed, no one wanted to stay longer than they strictly had to, not out of disrespect, but because of how painful it was. Some stayed back to speak with Hunk and his family, to mourn on a more private level.

However, some of the closer relatives, the ones who had come to see Lance off, decided that they needed more information, and came up to Shiro. They had all seen Shiro with Lance that day and naturally assumed he was closer to the whole mission than he really was. They asked questions like: “How long did you know him? Do you have any clue what might have happened?” “When did you hear?” They had good intentions, but Shiro didn't have anything to say. He tried to politely excuse himself from the service, but not before Lance’s older sister pulled him to the side.

“This really sucks ass.” Amelia said, catching Shiro completely off guard. One would think that Amelia would be a little less callous at her little brother’s funeral, especially after such a personal speech, but then he really looked at her. She looked tired, the kind of tired you could only be after having to take care of your entire family after a tragic loss. Amelia hardly had any energy left to spare weeping. Shiro felt extreme awe come over him in her presence. He blinked when she handed him a small plastic bag. 

“Lance asked me to buy these the day he left. He said he wanted to give them to you when he got back.” Her voice was tight. Shiro took the bag from her, looking at it curiously. She grasped his hand for a moment, her perfectly manicured fingers giving him a tight squeeze before she turned and went back to meet up with her family, leaving Shiro completely alone. He reached into the bag and pulled out its contents. His chest seized.

A pack of Star Wars stickers.

Shiro stared at them for what felt like forever and the tears came before he could even think of stopping them. God, he was really gone.

\-------

In the following weeks, Iverson developed a new teaching strategy. Whenever a student would slack off or bomb an examination, Iverson would call them out.

“You don’t want to end up like McClain, do you?” He’d ask like it was worse than anything in the world. Using the threat of being labeled an international failure and dying in space was cruel, to say the least, but it was effective in keeping all of the students in line.

Iverson had opposed Lance being chosen since day one. He had tried to dissuade the board from selecting such a low caste student multiple times. Now, it appeared that Iverson was taking every opportunity to gloat about how right he had been. It was sickening, but no one would contradict him. Who would? No student was willing to risk getting on Iverson’s bad side and not professor or administrator really cared, as long as scores were good and things ran efficiently. ‘Every professor has a teaching method. I’ve merely adapted mine.’ Iverson had defended himself the only time he was questioned. 

Keith was hardly impressed by the insults, but he kept his mouth shut during tests and classes. He bit his tongue and balled his fists every time Iverson brought up Lance’s name like it was some sort of slur.

Then the rumors started to spread, and it appeared that Iverson’s distaste was justified. The cadet, no one had ever learned his name, who had brought Shiro his papers all those months ago had seen Lance on his laptop screen and told everyone that he could find. New stories began to emerge every day.

Lance wasn’t actually selected, but he had worked a deal with Shiro to get picked.

Lance used sexual favors to earn the board’s attention.

Lance had used Shiro to get to the top of the class, making Shiro help him cheat.

Each story was worse than the last, each one bathing Lance in a deplorable light and dragging Shiro down with him.

Once the rumors reached the ears of the Garrison Education Committee, it was decided that the risk of any of the stories being true was too great. Student and professor relationships were not things to sweep under the rug, and the parents of students had been adamant about something being done. Shiro was demoted, his ability to teach students taken away and his access of lectures cut down to practically nothing. He wouldn’t be allowed in on classes that he could “potentially corrupt.” And while the committee members assured him that his change in position was strictly due to protecting professionalism, Shiro could feel the tension from both staff and parents when it came down to his sexual orientation. He was about as useful as a patrol guard, kept on strict schedules while any progress he made in becoming a professor was severely set back. It would have been interesting to see what would have been done had it been a heterosexual relationship. It was frustrating, humiliating, and Shiro wanted to fight the board to stay as he was, but they were adamant. There was nothing Shiro could really do about it after that. He could deny that he and Lance had been together all he wanted, and it would be true, but people had seen the two of them before Lance went up. He couldn’t really say he didn’t have feelings for Lance or that Lance hadn’t felt something for him. Too much risk. So, Shiro accepted his new position, dealt with the scandals that people created, and did his best to keep going. That, and keep an eye on Hunk and Keith until they made their way to graduation. It was the least he could do. 

After the Kerberos mission went down and Shiro was demoted, Keith started letting his distaste for the Garrison show more and more. It started with snide comments during lectures, then refusing to do simulators, and eventually led to Keith getting into altercations with other students who made a few too many comments about Shiro and his old student.

None of that would have necessarily mattered, given that Keith was the best pilot in the Garrison behind Shiro, until he attacked a teacher. More specifically, he attacked Iverson.

The Garrison students had gotten used to hearing Lance’s name like it was some kind of bad omen and as much as it infuriated Keith, he had kept his anger in check. However, Iverson apparently needed just one more insult to add to his list.

“Peters! You’re piloting like Shirogane taught you.” Iverson said cruelly to the small cadet as he climbed out of his pod on shaky legs. Some of the students shifted uncomfortably in their places, glancing between one another nervously. To use a dead cadet as a fear tactic was one thing, granted, a very disturbingly cruel thing, but to outright call out a top pilot who was still around and hadn’t actually been guilty of anything? No one knew how to react to that. No one except Keith, who growled and took a step forward, away from his designated simulator and towards the professor. Iverson took notice, giving Keith a sharp look.

“Do you have something to say, Kogane?” It was a dare, a challenge that Keith would lose no matter what he did.

“Shiro is the best pilot and teacher in the Garrison.” Keith bit out, taking the bait anyway. Iverson sniffed.

“And that so called teacher helped a cargo pilot cheat his way to getting on a mission he had no place being on.” The words were clipped, cold, leaving the entire room in a staggering silence. In that moment of stillness, Keith decided it was worth losing for once. He snapped, stopped thinking and lunged for Iverson. After all the shit he had to listen to in the last few months, he was not willing to hear one more comment about how Lance wasn’t worthy or that Shiro had been a cheat. He was sick of it.

\------

Keith was kicked out of the Garrison the following week on account of trying to take out Iverson’s other eye. Of course that wouldn't look good on the school’s reputation, so they labeled it under ‘Discipline Issues’ to save face. Shiro tried to speak in Keith’s favor to get his punishment lessened, even if it was only by a little bit. Despite being humiliated and talked down to at every turn, Shiro addressed the Garrison board of Directors with a raised chin.

“This is Keith’s first major offense; surely he doesn’t deserve immediate expulsion?” He defended to the line of board members. The Chairman spoke.

“Yet, for his ‘first major offense’ Shirogane, Mr. Kogane attacked a professor and nearly injured another student by doing so. I would hardly say that is the kind of behavior the Garrison permits.” Even when the Chairman was seated, he was talking down to Shiro.

“I understand that, and I am not saying that Keith shouldn’t be punished on some level, but something as severe as exp-” The Chairman suddenly stood, hand raised.

“Shirogane. It is to my understanding that you have a personal connection to Mr. Kogane. Therefore your defense of the boy may have deeper motives. If you can produce a third party defense, then we may discuss this again. Until that point, you’re dismissed.” He spoke dismissively, all other members nodding in agreement. Shiro squared his shoulders, unwilling to let them see that they could get to him.

“Sir, I-”

“Dismissed, Shirogane.” There was no room for argument, although Shiro was ready to fight tooth and nail to keep Keith in the Garrison. Still, now wasn’t the time to push anymore buttons. So, Shiro nodded his head and walked out of the room, already making a mental list of any professors that would be willing to speak up for Keith. He sent out multiple messages, pulled several strings and bent as many rules as he possibly could.

None. Not a single teacher was going to put their neck on the line for a ‘rogue’ student. Shiro had gone through Keith's entire schedule, speaking with every professor that was willing to listen. It was always one of two reasons; defending Keith and listening to Shiro was too much of a personal risk for them with the board, or they just didn’t care. It infuriated Shiro to no end, but he still tried as best he could.

It wasn’t enough.

Keith left the Garrison a week after attacking Iverson, and completely disappeared. Shiro tried to contact him multiple times by emailing him, calling his home, only for radio silence. Keith had vanished, as if he’d never attended the Garrison at all. The teachers certainly treated the situation like that. If any students asked what happened to Keith, they’d brush it off like they didn’t know what they were being asked. 

It made Shiro want to scream. But he didn’t. He kept himself calm and held himself together. There wasn’t any way he was going to show anyone they got to him. He owed that much to Hunk and the McClains, who still went on and dealt with so much pain day to day and didn’t say two words to anyone. More than that, Shiro owed it to Lance.

\-------

“I’m back.”

Shiro stood in front of Lance’s grave. With the few off days he was still allowed, he usually used them to either hang with Keith or visit the graves. He would visit Sam and Matt’s graves and then take the drive to Lance’s. It was therapeutic: like Shiro was making up for all the time he was too numb to mourn. He felt like he owed it to the crew. There was an occasion that Shiro went to Colonel Bernard Singhe’s grave, but it was too surreal. Shiro never spoke two words to the man, but every time he thought about the Kerberos mission’s captain, the heavy weight of ‘It could have been me’ settled on his shoulders. If he’d gone up to Kerberos, they might not have needed Lance at all. He could have stayed safe on earth. He frowned at the grave in front of him, Lance’s name staring back at him.

He cursed everything that reminded him of what he had done to the McClain family. He had sent their son up there; it had been him who helped Lance go to Kerberos. He had single handedly aided the McClain's in losing a son. And he probably could have prevented it if he had just gone up there himself, or he at least would have been there with Lance.

He was so lost in his own thoughts, he never noticed Lance’s mother walk up next to him. When he finally did, he braced himself. The last time he saw Lance’s mother was from the other side of the casket. He expected yelling, a slap to the face, accusing shouts and threats. He expected the entire family to hold him personally responsible. Instead, she looked up at him with this….. expression. It wasn’t anger or pain but it still stabbed at Shiro’s insides.

“I’m so sor-”

“Don’t you dare.” Mrs. McClain sounded so scandalized that Shiro clamped his mouth shut immediately. “Don’t you dare apologize for what you did for my son.” She must have been a solid foot and a half shorter than Shiro, but even so, he felt incredibly small in her presence.

“He was happy that day.” She was staring at the gravestone now. “He was truly happy the day he got on that ship. I could tell, and that made letting him go a little easier.” Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes when she looked up.

“Lance wanted to make his family proud, and he did that. I am proud of my son.” Her voice broke at the end, but the rest of her was steady. She had to be, Shiro supposed.

“I was just leaving, if you wanted some privacy.” Shiro offered, but Mrs. McClain shook her head.

“I don’t see why one of us should leave when we both came for the same thing.” She said with a plaintive smile.

“I’m glad that Lance found someone like you.” She said sincerely after a few minutes of calm silence. Shiro blinked. He didn’t really know what to say to that. “He’s always had trouble reaching his potential. He really is smart boy.” She stopped, looking back at the grave stone. “He was.” She amended.

“Ma’am, I promise I wasn't involved with your son before that day.” Shiro felt like he needed to say it. “Even then we weren’t-” Mrs. McClain suddenly laughed, full and tinkling. Shiro blinked at her, feeling embarrassed.

“Young man, you don’t kiss a boy like that and not want to be involved with. Trust me. Although you definitely needed more practice.” She said with a knowing glint in her eyes. Shiro took a second to process that, then found himself letting out a puff of laughter.

“Sorry. I guess I’m just a little surprised. I didn’t think-” Mrs. McClain chuckled again

“I don’t think you realize who you’re talking to.” She smiled and Shiro found himself smiling as well.

“I guess not.”

They fell into another calm silence.

“I just wish I could have given him more.” Shiro said absently, feeling emboldened.

“And you would have?” Lance’s mother asked, almost challengingly and Shiro answered immediately.

“Absolutely.” Mrs. McClain hummed.

“Even when you’d be working at that school?” Shiro couldn’t help but notice the slightest bit of resentment in her tone.

“It’s a prestigious school, they don’t allow everything, but we could have worked out something.” He said, but it sounded weak even to his own ears. Mrs. McClain scoffed.

“That prestigious school of yours sent my son into space and promised to keep him safe.” Her voice went soft, fragile. “My baby died up there… And I found out through the Eleven O’clock news. You tell me where the prestige is in that.” The bitterness in her tone flared, then fell away to make room for sadness she hadn’t let Shiro see until now. Mrs. McClain wasn’t looking for an answer, so Shiro kept his mouth closed. He didn’t have an answer for her anyway. 

She shifted a bit, glanced over at Shiro, then chuckled. “Mrs. McClain?” Shiro asked, suddenly unsure.

“Sara, please.” She insisted and Shiro nodded. “My son couldn’t charm a girl into holding his hand.” She was joking, of course, but Shiro knew there was some truth in there as well. He had heard enough of Lance’s flirting to know. “But when it came down to it, he certainly knew how to pick’em.” Sara said honestly, making Shiro flush in embarrassment again.

“You were very good for my son, Mr. Shirogane.”

“Shiro, please.” He insisted and Sara nodded her head, they didn’t feel the need to look at each other, so they continued to look at the grave.

“I’m just sorry that you two couldn’t have had more time together.” She said and Shiro sighed, giving the gravestone a bittersweet smile.

“I can only hope that wherever he is, he’s happy.”

\------

Meanwhile, Lance sat alone, shivering in a small prison cell millions of miles away from home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that.....? One more Chapter to go and that's the end~! Please Please Please let me know what you think!! If you have any suggestions or if you'd like something cleared up, I'd be more than happy to talk! I'm going to get better about responding to comments! 
> 
> Until next chapter!


	5. Get Me Home

Alarms blared as Lance ran down corridor after corridor, flashing lights saturating the purple walls with a deep red. He could hear people chasing him, sentries and guards following close behind, but there was no way in hell he would look back to see just how many. His neck was on fire, the skin singed and scarred, but he didn’t have any time to think about it. All he knew was that there was a gap in security, a single chance of escape and he needed to go now, now, _now!_

“He’s escaped- Go, go!” One guard, maybe a commander (he sounded familiar) called from somewhere further behind him. Lance pushed himself to sprint faster. The sound of blasters whizzed past him, the feeling of charged energy zooming by his head made him dizzy with adrenaline. He skidded around a corner, feeling one stray shot singe the back of his calf. It wasn’t enough to make him stop. Nothing was. 

He had just enough of an advantage to get to one of the massive doors leading to the flight bays. It opened up for him automatically, and once it closed behind him, he shattered the control panel on the wall. It wouldn’t keep everyone out, but it would give Lance the precious few minutes he needed to escape.

Just as planned, a pod was opened and prepared in the nearest bay. Lance's body moved on instinct, one critical step back in hesitation, because there was no telling if this would work. Nevertheless, he didn’t waste another precious second before sprinting towards the airlock’s activation mechanism just as the sentries caught up to him. 

There was a sudden explosion near the second bay, a few yards down the main corridor, and several sentries were blasted away, including Lance. He gasped as he was flung backwards into the escape pod, the doors lowering closed when Lance’s skull collided with the controls, activating the ship. Two drones were crushed between the heavy metal locking back together. He shook off the pain, clambering back to his feet to grip the steering desperately. The pod shook as several dozen new soldiers began firing, trying to incapacitate the craft before it was too late.   
Lance started to panic when the airlock stalled, creating a small crack between the two sliding panels, just barely wide enough for the pod to squeeze through. 

Without any other option besides recapture, Lance started up the pod and drove it forward. Lance’s fingers shook as he activated the weapons system, a measly little gun turret at the side of the craft. He prayed for a moment, then fired at the crack in the airlock door to create a few more feet of room before crashing through the airlocks opening himself. 

A tic later and Lance was outside the ship. He shook with thinly veiled relief; the shields on the pod were down, but he was _out_ and that was all he cared about. Sentries and soldiers were sucked out into space through the hole Lance’s ship had made, but he had no time to feel remorse for their wasted lives. He still had the rest of the captivity vessel on his heels and Lance could practically hear the whirring as they prepped the tractor beam, ready to reel him back in. Lance wasn’t going to allow it, not after he’s gotten this far. 

He grabbed onto the controls as quickly as he could and reared them up, ascending just in time to escape the pull of the tractor beam. 

He reached for the small device clipped to his ear and yanked it off. The decoy stung as it was disconnected, but it was nothing compared to how the actual tag had burned during its removal. He looked down at the piece of metal, watching with fascination as three small needle like legs extended from either side, reminding him eerily of a spider. With a long breath, he stuck it to the control panel as he had been instructed. The signal scrambler activated instantly, the legs digging into the panels and lighting up. 

The cloaking device hummed as it began its work. Lance released the breath he had been holding in; within moments, the entire craft would be lost from any radar scanner on this side of the universe. “Thank you, Th-!” 

A blast from the main ship just barely grazed the side of the escape pod, the force of it throttling the pod almost entirely off course. Apparently the cloaking device wasn’t working fast enough. Lance lunged forward and dropped into the pilot’s seat, struggling to gain control of the pod again. A few tics, that’s all it would take and he’d be home free, he thought in a frantic haze. A second blast nearly caught the tail end of the craft, but the third was nowhere close. 

As the pod leveled out, Lance could have cried in relief as he glanced at the pod’s monitor. The cloaking device was in full effect, disguising him from the radar of the captivity vessel and ensuring his freedom. A few minutes later, once Lance was absolutely sure he was in the clear, he punched in the coordinates that he’d been memorizing for months. 

“I’m on my way home, guys.”

\------

Keith groaned as he threw down yet another crumpled piece of paper onto the floor, flopping back on the old sofa. He hadn’t slept in days, and it was beginning to show in the bags under his eyes. 

He flung his arms over the table in frustration, sending pages of reports and photographs flying only to settle onto the floor again. He picked up his phone and thumbed the keys lightly. 

He thought about calling Shiro for what felt like the millionth time as his hands trembled across the buttons of the track phone he’d bought at a pawn shop. He couldn't count the number of times he’d almost hit the call button and reconnected with all the people he’d left behind at the Garrison. He knew he should have called the week he left, but it was like something just…wouldn’t let him. 

His eyes flicked back to a scattering of papers on top of the small rickety coffee table.   
The photo he took of the canyon pass sat beneath two code pages, and several photographs and newspaper clippings filled the rest of the open space. He sat up, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned over the ‘evidence’ he had collected over his time in the desert. Evidence to what, he had no clue. All Keith knew was that all the readings and data he’d collected from weather reports, seismic activity in the area, and even solar anomalies pointed to something happening within the next few days, maybe even the next few hours. Keith dropped his phone beside him and grabbed the pages off the table before carrying them over to the oversized cork board on the far wall of the shack. He tacked the photographs around the perimeter of the board, and the small chicken-scratch notes were pinned near their designated codes. He frowned as he looked up at the canyon photo, the curves and peaks looking like a chipped skyline. 

There would be no going back when this was over. Keith was sure of that much.

\------

Shiro tugged on the collar of his vest. It was his day off, finally, and he was determined to get off Garrison property for as long as he could.

He was allowed less and less free time nowadays, kept on a tight schedule and given unpaid overtime far more than was probably allowed. Once again, the sudden addition of course work to his schedule was proposed by the board in order to see to it that Shiro was kept on the tightest leash possible while still being able to ‘officially’ claim that nothing had changed in terms of his position and standing at the Garrison. His sexuality was not made an explicit issue, but Shiro wasn’t blind, he knew he was being kept away from students and faculty alike, no matter what people reported. On paper, everything was perfectly fine and Shiro was simply given more assignments to further his career as an instructor. In reality, it was all busy work that kept Shiro tucked away and out of trouble. 

He adjusted the zipper so less of his neck was showing before he got outside, but paused when a sudden movement in one of the hallways caught his eye. Down the hall, Hunk’s head briefly peeked out of his dorm, glancing around worriedly. Shiro stopped walking when Hunk looked in his direction. The cadet let out a squeak and ducked back into his room, which, on its own, was worrying, but usually Hunk looking around like that meant something was up with his new roommate. Shiro let out a slow breath before turning and walking down towards Hunk’s room. He knocked once and it slid open halfway, revealing an anxiety ridden Hunk leaning up against the door frame. 

“Hey Shiro, w-what’s up?” Hunk asked, his voice high and wavering. 

“Something wrong?” Shiro asked in place of an answer, trying to glance behind Hunk into the room. 

“Wrong? Who’s wrong? This? Nope, nothing wrong here- is that a new vest?” Shiro frowned at the sudden change in topic. 

“Where’s Pidge?” 

“Oh… Uh… Nowhere?”

“Hunk.”

“Okay, okay. He left for the roof again- I tried to tell him it was stupid, but did he listen to me? No, who listens to Hunk? Not him-” Hunk was cut short by a hand on his shoulder. 

“Alright, let’s go get him.” Shiro reasoned and took a step back. Hunk looked at him in confusion. 

“If Pidge gets found out by someone else, you’ll be in just as much trouble for letting him leave.” Shiro pointed out from halfway down the hall. The Garrison had a strange ‘Guilty by Association’ policy. If a student was caught past curfew, whether they had a viable excuse or not, their roommate would be in just as much trouble for letting them leave in the first place. At least if Hunk was with him, he could spare Hunk the inevitable detention. 

“Oh.” Hunk mumbled softly, before scrambling to catch up with Shiro. 

\------

“Fuck, fuck, fuckity- fucking- Shit!” 

The hull of the pod shook as it began its reentry into Earth’s atmosphere, tossing Lance back and forth within its confines. He struggled to stay upright, gripping the edges of the dashboard until his knuckles turned white. The screens were blaring, red signals blinking in and out of focus. 

“Come on, baby… Work with me!” He slammed his fist on one of the keypads in hopes of bringing the screen back into focus to keep his course steady, in hopes of keeping the damned ship in one piece. A series of red coding flashed back at him, telling him all the technical problems he already knew about. “Fuck me...” He punched the few remaining keys left one of the last working panels. The pod lurched to the left, almost sending Lance sprawling to the floor. The air was getting thinner- or maybe heavier? It was hard to tell when one was dropping at terminal velocity through an atmosphere Lance hasn’t been accustomed to in a year’s time. 

Tiny spiderweb-like cracks began to fracture over the pod’s front window, sprouting from the top right corner. They slowly crept towards the center of the front window as the pods main structure started to collapse. 

“Freaking- oh yeah, break out and get killed on the way back _that’s_ the plan...” Lance grunted as he had to dodge flying sparks from a malfunctioning server. _Altitude failing… Navigation failing… First engine no longer functioning…_ “Literally everything else not far behind.” He snapped at the computer’s reports.

Lance coughed, feeling incredibly lightheaded. One more control panel cut out. If anything else failed, he wouldn’t make it through the stratosphere, the last barrier between him and home. Trying not to fall over, Lance got in front of the pilot’s chair and prayed that if he dropped enough of the power in the second engine, the third backup would hold up enough- 

He coughed again, his lungs burning, clawing for enough oxygen to keep pumping. Lance swore under his breath when he looked back towards the spiderweb crack in the corner.

All the blood drained from his face. He could practically _see_ the air seeping through. Fantastic. Not only was his ship crumbling to pieces, but the only thing keeping him alive was getting sucked out into space, where it was helping absolutely no one.

“Fuckin’... come on.” He pulled up the oxygen readings, along with all the other systems that were mercifully intact. 

_Oxygen: 46%_

If it fell below 20% he was royally fucked. 

_Oxygen: 41%_

He dropped the second engine’s power supply to 50% in an attempt to boost the pod’s shields. It didn’t work. 

_Oxygen: 37%_

The pod plummeted, rattling and jostling in all different directions. More screens went offline before he could try to salvage them. 

_Oxygen: 33%_

Fuck, it was hard to breathe. Lance’s lungs felt heavy. There had to be a med kit somewhere. Anywhere. He whipped his head around, trying to look for any compartments that looked anything like medical equipment. Things were getting blurry. Everything was shaking. 

_Oxygen: 28%_

He stumbled past the pilot’s chair, one hand curling around his neck while the other groped against the wall, looking for purchase to keep him upright. He wobbled on unsteady legs towards the back of the pod opening the multiple panels. 

_Oxygen: 21%_

His vision went blank for a second, a sudden jolt of the ship sending him crashing to his knees. Lance wheezed, his head pounding and his blood roaring in his ears. He needed to get air. He slammed his hand on the last keypad on the wall, the panel dissolving away. Another jolt shook the cockpit, and a small medkit crashed to the floor while a portable respirator dangled from a hook inside the small cabinet. 

_Oxygen: 18%_

The floor sparked. Broken wires, flaring from overheating beneath his feet. The main panel blinked and whirred, crackling images flashing over whatever was left of the screen. Lance coughed, barely keeping his eyes opened as he reached up for the respirator. Just a few inches, that’s all he needed to reach, and then he’d be home.

The pod suddenly dropped another dozen feet, and Lance’s head swam as he fell back onto the floor. 

At 13% oxygen levels, Lance blacked out, the tips of his fingers slipping off the respirator as he fell limp. The last thing he registered seeing was the Earth’s surface rapidly getting closer. 

_All systems failed. Pod no longer active._

\-------

“That’s a ship!” Pidge cried, staring up at the sky in wonderment. Shiro eyed the falling object warily. 

“Pidge, that’s probably a star-” He blinked as the cadet’s binoculars were shoved towards his face, Pidge teetering up on their tiptoes to reach his level. He took them slowly, and peered through the glasses to just barely catch a glimpse of what was certainly a ship crashing behind a line of boulders half a mile outside the Garrison grounds. 

“Okay. I admit it, maybe it’s-”

“We gotta go see what that is!” Shiro ripped the binoculars away only to see Pidge sprinting across the roof towards the emergency fire escape stairs. He looked between Hunk, who looked like he would have rather been anywhere but there, and Pidge, before charging after them. 

“Pidge! Get back here!” He called, but the other was too far away and too set in their mission to listen. Hunk stared at the abandoned equipment, then back towards the fire escape where both Shiro and Pidge had rushed down.

“He so owes me his dessert rations for this.” He grumbled as he scooped up the computer.

\------

Shiro couldn’t breathe, not with what he was seeing on Pidge’s tiny little monitor. They’d settled on top of a small outcropping of hills just outside of the newly set up camp near the crash site. Thanks to Hunk bring the laptop and other various signal grabbers and mini satellites, Pidge was able to pull up security video footage in record time. It was blurry, and the quality really wasn’t stunning, but it was plain enough to see.

Lance- living, breathing Lance- was laid out on a table, strapped down tightly while men in white suits and masks muttered to themselves. How Pidge had managed to hack into a military base, Shiro will never know, but at this point, he couldn't have been happier that they had. The three watched in silent shock as the audio kicked in, Lance’s voice ringing out.

“Do you know where you are?” 

“E...Earth?” Lance answered slowly, his voice hoarse and weak. The man closest to him didn’t seem to notice his shaking, out of touch voice as he kept asking questions. 

“Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” Lance blinked like the question was absurd. His head lolled back and forth like the answer would be jostled into place if he just moved enough. 

“Gone…wha? I dunno… wait who are you people?” Shiro winced when Lance’s voice suddenly spiked up an octave, panic taking over as he began to struggle and pull against the bonds. 

“Please calm down, Mister McClain.” Another white coat griped, though it seemed like he was saying it more for his own convenience than Lance’s safety. 

“W-where am I? What is- fuck- let me go!” Lance started to struggle, his face paling in terror. 

“Sedate him!” One suit yelled, and the other two began preparing a face mask connected to a small tank. Lance panicked more. 

“No- no, no please don’t put me out-please! I don’t- I can’t- _no!_ ” They set the mask on his face, forcing it over his nose until his whole body went limp and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. 

“What do we do now?” 

“The kid’s been dead for a year. My guess is he’s gonna have to stay that way. Start running more tests, get his vitals.”

The video cut out after that, static taking over the screen. Pidge tried whacking the monitor once, then tried to reestablish the signal, and then reboot and whole system, but nothing worked. No that it mattered, they'd all seen what was on the screen. Lance. A living, breathing Lance who was okay, if not distressed. Shiro couldn’t breathe, not really, it was all so much to take in and process. Hunk was in a similar position, his jaw slack and his eyes wide.

“We- he just- that’s-” He couldn’t string an entire sentence together, but Pidge and Shiro understood. Shiro stood up, pacing back and forth before looking over the ridge down at the small base they’d set up. Lance was in there. They were holding him there without proper care, as far as anyone was concerned. The lab coat’s words rang in his ear. “Stay that way.” Whatever that meant, Shiro knew it meant nothing good. Pidge fiddled with the machine, trying to see if they could manage to get more security videos or pull up any files that may have been used since the crash. Maybe they could find out how tight the actual security was.

Nothing. 

It was Hunk who spoke up first. “We need to get down there.” Shiro nodded in agreement. Pidge seemed just as eager to join in. 

Shiro picked up the binoculars and tried to find an entrance point, noting several along the front and sides, where only a few soldiers were stationed. He pushed away the nagging curiosity of why they would need soldiers, and why such heavily armed ones, because it wasn’t the priority. The priority was Lance, and getting him out of there. 

“We need to sneak in. They’ll never allow us near the place on our own.” He spoke softly, as if someone would just happen to walk by and hear them. Hunk looked unsure. 

“But, Shiro, what about-”

“I haven’t trusted the Garrison since Lance disappeared, and I know for a fact they haven’t trusted me. I don’t think there’ll be any love lost.” Shiro shot back. Hunk didn’t fight him on it.

“Right now, we just need a plan.”

As it would turn out, they didn’t need a plan anyways, because two minutes later, several bombs went off half a mile outside the Garrison grounds, and they were all forced into action. As military rovers and officers headed to the blast zone, four intruders made their way from the opposite direction towards the base. 

\------

By some miracle, they made it out of the Garrison’s grounds without losing any heads or necessary limbs, which, in all fairness, was a win in everyone’s book. Keith had managed to fit all of them onto his hover craft and evade the Garrison rovers that were tailing them into the rockier areas of the desert. The shack had been a surprise, namely because it was in the middle of a desert, and also because apparently it had been Keith’s home for the last couple of months. 

In all the adrenaline that came with escaping, the four of them hardly spoke at all as Keith guided them inside, gesturing towards a back bedroom where they could let Lance sleep. 

In the quiet of the shack, they were finally able to get a look at Lance, to _actually_ see him and not some poor quality video image. He was… there was no describing it, but if Shiro had never seen Lance before, he never would have recognized the man lying on the bed, he looked that different. 

For one, Lance’s hair had gotten longer; it fell into his eyes in the front, but was shaved short in the back and sides. He looked older, like he’d been gone for seven years instead of just one, and he was paler too, probably from not having seen any sort of sunlight in just as long. A scar, one that no one had really noticed until now, ran down Lance’s face, starting at his left temple before crossing down over his eye to end just below his jaw line. His ear was damaged as well; there was a small, bullet-sized chip in the shell of his right ear. It was a clean cut, leaving the cartilage to hold its crisp deformity. 

Then there was his…hand. Well, what used to be his hand. His entire right arm was gone, replaced by a smooth, glimmering prosthetic that started at the beginning of his elbow. Pidge looked half tempted to poke and prod at it, but kept themselves back. They all did. Even though Hunk had just found his best friend, Keith one of his only friends at all, and Shiro his old…whatever they had been, nobody dared to touch Lance until he was awake, or at least until the feeling of seeing someone brought back from the dead finally settled. 

Pidge was the first to leave the bedroom, content with settling on the lumpy sofa with their bag and laptop to tinker. Hunk joined them next, taking the time to rifle through all the shelves, cabinets, and papers that he could find to pass the time. Shiro didn’t leave; he pulled up a chair and sat by Lance’s side, letting his hand rest on the bed, only a centimeter away from where Lance’s prosthetic was limp on top of the blankets. Keith remained in the doorway, looking between Shiro and Lance until the overbearing silence finally got to him.

“Shiro, I-” He started, but Shiro didn’t let him go any further as he stood up from the chair, his eyes still on Lance’s lax expression. 

“We need to talk.” Shiro growled before he walked out of the shack entirely, Keith listening obediently. He ignored the looks of sympathy Hunk shot him and Pidge’s quizzical stare in favor of following Shiro with his shoulders hunch and fists shoved into his pants pockets. Shiro stopped on one of the sand mounds just shy of the half-fallen fence. 

“Eight months, Keith.” 

“I know.” 

“You were gone for eight months, and you didn’t say one word to anyone.” 

“I know.” 

“I would have taken anything, Keith. A letter, a text, fucking smoke signals, if you were this close to the Garrison.” 

“If it helps, I had a good reason for losing contact.” 

“It doesn’t, Keith. Good reason or not, Hunk and I lost both you and Lance in the span of three months.” 

“I’m sorry…” 

Shiro sighed. “Sorry isn’t going to cut it. Not this time. And I’m not the only one your need to apologize to. You left Hunk alone to grieve over the two of you.” Keith winced at the reminder, digging the toe of his boot into the sand. 

“What can I do to make up for it?” He asked weakly, although by the hard set of Shiro’s jaw and the disappointed look in his eye, he knew there wasn’t anything he could do. 

“Just… dammit Keith, don’t cut us out like that again. I don’t think I could survive losing either of you two a second time.” Shiro insisted sternly. He gripped Keith’s shoulder, and though Keith knew he wasn’t anywhere close to being forgiven, he knew Shiro still had his back. No one could blame him if he was still angry; no matter what reason Keith had, nothing excused him cutting all his ties with those who care about him. But Shiro was too good sometimes. Keith nodded his head, almost like he was reassuring himself, before gesturing back towards the shack.

“You should come see this.”

\-------

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be seeing here, Keith.” Pidge muttered as they fiddled with the Geiger counter Hunk had whipped up. It had been working perfectly, guiding them directly towards the cave that had the same carvings Keith had talked about, but it had gone completely dead the second they entered the mouth of the cave. It wasn’t as huge as they would have thought; it only stretched about twenty feet into the canyon wall, and reached a few meters above their heads. With Hunk’s device and Keith’s driving ability, it had only taken them a half hour to get out there. 

Hunk had offered to stay at the shack with Lance in case anything happened and he woke up. “Better if he wakes up to familiar face than some random shack all alone, right?” Besides, no one could blame him for not wanting to leave Lance’s side. Looking around the dimly lit cave, Shiro was starting to wish he’d done the same. 

“Trust me; this place was practically alive every time I came here.” Keith assured, stepping over a small pile of fallen boulders to get to one of the many lion carvings. Shiro’s face twisted into a frown as he found himself staring at a particular carving further into the cave. Its mouth was open, reared up on its hind legs in a rage. 

It was the same carving that Keith had photographed on his board, a simple design etched into cold rock. Even so, Shiro could have sworn it almost looked alive. 

Slowly, Shiro lifted his hands and brushed the tips of his fingers over the grooves of the lion’s jaw. He felt a sudden pull and pressed his palm of his hand against the wall, pushing away the growing moss and cobwebs. The image of the lion stared back at him, the lines sharper than before. Shiro didn't know what he had expected from uncovering the lion more, but the sudden pull was gone and nothing about the image changed. He pulled his hand away and stepped back. 

“Wait- what do you mean ‘was’?” Pidge started to fiddle with their mini communicator, looking over at Keith with an expectant look. Keith groaned under his breath in frustration, pressing both of his hands against one of the cave’s walls. 

“I don’t understand. There was always this… feeling whenever I came here. I can’t feel it anymore.” Keith confessed desperately, looking at the ceiling like it would give him the answers. 

“You sure it wasn’t just the heat? You have been living in the desert for over half a year.” Pidge suggested dryly, which earned them a look of dissatisfaction from Keith. 

“I know it wasn’t the heat, okay? There was… I don’t know, but it was definitely here. I wouldn’t have been there when Lance crashed otherwise.” Keith muttered. “It was like… I don’t know, these feeling that pulled at me whenever I came here, whenever I thought of Lance. It’s hard to explain, but I know that they’re connected.” He trailed off by the end.

“Well, whatever it was, I don’t think it stuck around.” Shiro sighed, noting the way Keith’s shoulders slumped. “But don’t worry, we’re still going to try and figure this out.” Gently, he rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Unless you’ve suddenly got a mental connection with some aliens in space, there has to be some sort of explanation for all this.” Keith gave a weak nod of his head, though Shiro could tell he was still disappointed. 

“Then let's find out tomorrow.” Pidge piped up, walking over to them with a blinking communicator in their hand. 

“Hunk just blipped me, Lance is awake.”

\-----

Keith wasn’t one of the top pilots at the Garrison for nothing; he managed to cut the thirty minute trip back to the shack down to twenty. Pidge had nearly been flung off the craft twice, and Shiro lost a few years on his life span, but they returned to Keith’s shack in record time. Hunk was waiting for them in the doorway, his fingers fiddling with the zipper of his vest. 

“Lance’s awake,” He reported weakly, but Shiro had already pushed his way in and was halfway inside the room, Keith and Pidge right behind him and hardly paying attention to Hunk beyond the word “awake.”

“Lance, I-”

“Woah, you know my name?” Shiro blinked at the smaller man in the bed, confused. 

“Huh?”

“You’re Captain Shirogane, right? Best pilot at the Garrison, first in, like, everything? And you know my name? That’s so cool!” Lance exclaimed with a big, excited, and completely over-confident grin. It was the type of grin Lance used to give him back when they just started working together. Shiro felt his stomach drop and his whole chest tighten when he realized why Hunk had looked so nervous in the doorway. It suddenly made so much more sense why he’d tried to tell them about Lance before any of them went inside. Lance was still smiling at him like they didn’t know each other at all and _oh god…_

Lance didn't know him at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the end of Closer to Your Word. This was my first fic, so I'm happy I was able to stick with it and complete it even when things got difficult. I hope you all enjoyed it?
> 
> Want to come at me with pitchforks? Yell at me on my tumblr and twitter!
> 
> REMINDER! This is the first in a SERIES so don't go thinking I left it off like this,I'm now that cruel. The continuation will be posted hopefully soon, I'd like to get out some over content before then,so expect some one-shots appearing in the near future!
> 
> Again, thank you all for reading my story, I hope you all enjoyed it! <3
> 
> -Castle

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to talk to me, my tumblr is castleofklance.tumblr.com and my Twitter is @CastleS_L


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